Black and White and...

Ah, New York, the city of dualities. Gritty and sophisticated, hipsters and hippies, WASPs and wiggers (yeah, I'm bringing back "wigger"), cupcakes, Cosmos and crack. How can you not love it? At least, you know, in small doses. My sweetie and I were there for three days and three nights eating, drinking and figuring out the streets from the avenues. Luckily, we stayed with my lovely friend/hostess Stacey who knows all the hot spots.

Some surprises? Black and white cookies and Egg Creams (which has neither eggs nor cream - discuss) both deserve their legendary reputations, TKTS doesn't just offer decent Broadway ticket prices but great seats, too, and the Metra is so much better than the CTA. Of course, riding a blind, amputated warthog would be better and faster than the CTA, but I digress. I would digress even more if I expounded on my crush for Raúl Esparza, so all I'll say is, if you can see Company before it closes July 1st, do it. Go. That's all I'm saying.

Even better was the lack of taxes on clothing and the unpredictably decent prices. Sure, Dean and Deluca might charge an arm and leg for some products, but they also have Meyer Lemon Olive Oil for $22 which is the same as in Chicago. And did I mention there's no taxes on clothes?!?!

Also surprising? Magnolia Bakery. Meh. Their cupcakes were dry and the buttercream frosting was so sweet I could taste the sugar granules. I actually prefer Chicago's own Cupcakes for their flavor combinations and Swirlz for their superior, moist cakes and restrained use of smooth frosting.

Two other highlights included the Museum of Modern Art and a Greenwich Village food tour. We went for MoMa's Richard Serra exhibit but stayed for Israeli photographer Barry Frydlender's huge portraits composed of dozens (or even hundreds) of seamlessly collaged digital pictures. The 3-hour food tour stuffed us with pizza, freshly-filled cannoli and deep-fried rice balls. That, my friends? Is called heaven.

While I wasn't pleased with the way most of my photos turned out, I'm wrapping this post up with pics offering a glimpse of Serra's towering steel slab sculptures in MoMa's garden and some Greenwich Village gems.









Also check out: Wisconsin, Suckas.
And: Happy Birthday to Me.

Fuggedaboutit, Suckas

Don't be offended, the title is sort of a tradition at this point. And yes, I am traveling to NYC for a long weekend vacation with the sweetie. Woo-hoo! Bring on the black and white cookies, the egg creams and the entitled superiority.

Unfortunately, I also have a cold. Yeah. Who has a cold in June? Me, right before my first vacation in a long time. So I hope the cast of "Spring Awakening" doesn't mind that there will be some guy in the mezzanine blowing his nose while they sing about their hormonal urges and teenage oppression.

So anyway, I'll hopefully be back to blogging by early next week, unless all that New York attitude really rubs off on me and I decide blogging is so 2006 or something.

You better wash your hands before coming into my city, bitch.

Also check out: Seattle, Suckas.
And: Aloha, Suckas.

The Same Thing We All Do With Our Feet

Many bloggers have talked about the funny phrases people look up that somehow lead them to their blogs. At this point, it's almost a cliché post. But I can't keep one in particular to myself. (Trust me, I could have done a whole post about how someone looked up the phrase "Who decided that Elizabeth Berkeley is attractive" and found my site...but I didn't.) When looking up what leads people to my blog, I came across this phrase:

What did the most flexible japense [sic] women do with her feet?

Um, WHAT?!?! Is there some Japanese (sorry, "Japense") woman who's somehow been proven to be more flexible than every other Japanese woman alive? And does she do something strange with her feet? It almost sounds like a riddle...and I came up with an answer that's just too dirrrty to mention. So I'll go with title here as the answer.

Not only did it lead this flexible Japanese fetishist to my site, I was the #1 result on Google for this particular phrase. I couldn't tell from the other results what they were looking for in the first place. The reason my blog was pulled at all was because of this post featuring my description of Margaret Cho's burlesque show, which I can assure you had nothing to do with her doing anything special with her feet.

In other not-really-news about people lumping together things that are only barely related, CBS Chicago's website features a completely random slideshow on their site where they basically try to list every single celebrity who's gay and out. The only explanation given is:

Here's a look at some stars who are living openly gay lives, and realizing that it is "in to be out."

I love how "in to be out" is in quotes as if that's a phrase that people actually use. I've never heard anyone say this, probably because it's not really true. To be sure, they feature Rupert Everett, who actually reveals in his autobiography that he lost roles in movies like About A Boy specifically because he is gay. I don't mean to belittle the progress that has been made when people like Neil Patrick Harris and T.R. Knight have come out and still maintained solid careers, but I just wish that CBS Chicago had maybe put this feature in some context and really explained why it was there.

And, oh yeah..."some stars"? They list every single gay person who's ever had even the most passing brush with fame, not to mention the most obviously gay celebrities that even the most clueless straight people would already know. News flash: The stars of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy are...wait for it...queer!

But what they can do with their feet remains to be seen.

Also check out: This Post is AWESUM.
And: Who Wants to See That?

Kinsey Sicks Wanna Be Republicans (Or At Least Just Sing About It)

Are you a depressed Democrat, looking for a cheap laugh at your political counterparts' expense? Or maybe you're a repressed Republican who needs an injection of pride? Then you might want to think about checking out The Kinsey Sicks. These funny, talented drag queens have been performing since 1994 and have finally captured their four-part harmonies and bawdy political humor on their first live concert film, I Wanna Be a Republican (due June 12th).

I admit, I had never heard of them before watching this new DVD but quickly found myself attuned to their patented brand of campy sarcasm. I mean, there's over-the-top, and then there's the Kinsey Sicks. Self-billed as "America's favorite dragapella beautyshop quartet" (because, really, we have so many to choose from. Thank you, democracy!), these four feisty drag queens stage a mock GOP fundraiser to announce their switch to the Republican party. According to anal Winnie, "your contributions this evening will help eradicate such rampant social evils as social security! Evolution! Pleasure!"

The following 84 minutes are not only entertaining but, really, educational as well as they sing (in impressive a capella four-part harmonies) the benefits of conservatism. One by one, the group - which also includes glamorous Trixie, horny Rachel and spiritual Trampolina - take to the podium to explain why and how they decided to cross party lines. At the end of the fundraiser, we're promised that "George W. Bush himself will be here to deliver his first ever coherent public policy address!"

During their personal speeches, they take on numerous subjects, reveal personal confessions and hold nothing back. On why she's a pro-choice Republican, Trixie says, "We cannot go back to the days of back-alley abortions. I myself have spent much time in those back alleys and believe me, nothing ruins the moment more than a mangled fetus."

On Trixie's decision, Winnie assures her that "it's fine for you to be a pro-choice Republican as long as you're content to have no influence whatsoever."

And that's just the between-song banter. To kick things off, the ladies outline their motivations in their anthemic title song, singing "I'm tired of thinking about you when it's all about me, me, me!...Now I'm in a place where I'm embraced for being selfish and mean!"

Apparently, joining the Republican party has its advantages. "Don't you just love flesh-colored bandages?" Trixie sings in "All the White Places." And in "Money," the title subject "buys you noses and elections, it buys you pills that buy erections." Plus, you can can have politically correct cocktail parties while exploiting those you oppress: "Rent a homo for your party, you will have a barrel of fun! Rent a homo for your party, every party should have one."

The only part I found confusing was Trampolina's gospel-tinged "Be A Slut," where God told her to, well...I think the title explains it (in case it doesn't, the chorus goes: "Be a slut! Be a slut! No ifs, no ands, but lots of butt!"). The "abstinence-only" Republican party doesn't exactly seem pro-sex but hey, if every Republican drag queen was as inspiring as Trampolina, they might just change their policies. Girl doesn't just sing, she can sang.

Filmed before a game audience in San Francisco (tough crowd to convince of the powers of Republicanism), the Kinsey Sicks doo-wop, meditate, seduce audience members and hire minorities for photo ops. Does W. ever show up for his public policy address? I won't spoil it, but they do perform his personal anthem called "When You're Good to Dubya," a take on Chicago's "When You're Good to Mama."

Watching a concert on TV is always strange as there seems to be a disconnect between you and the live audience. Some things are just funnier in person, even if you're watching the same joke in your living room. And I admit, I never want to see a drag queen acting out the party game "Bobbing for Butt Hairs" ever again. But on one of the DVD's many special features, more than one of the cast members reveal that their conservative parents enjoyed the show. By the time the Sicks close with "We Arm the World," you might be singing along, too.

Also check out: Laughs and Tears, Courtesy of the New York Times.
And: Magically Delicious.