Okay, Go: Scissor Sisters

Could I love them even more? Now they've chosen my favorite song from their second album, Ta-Dah, as their third single. Here's the video for "Kiss You Off," complete with snappy choreography, saran-wrap trenchcoats and amputated, dancing mannequins. Plus, Ana Matronic takes the lead on this one - what more convincing do you need? Granted, this song is best when blasted at top volume so you can lip-sync while dancing on your bed, but watching the video on a computer is a close second.

(P.S. Are you there, Maroon 5? Hi. It's me, Donny B. This is how you do disco and rock together. Not your lame new single, which manages to be both catchy and kind of crappy at the same time. I can appreciate you guys trying to branch out, but alas, I think you fell out of the tree altogether. Next time, just get Jake Shears and Babydaddy to write your stuff for you, since that's who you're ripping off anyway.)

Tell me what you think!



Also check out: Okay, Go: Mika.
And: Scissor Sisters: Filthy and Gorgeous.

UR Here

So part of the reason I've been largely absent from the blogging scene recently is due to the unexpected rush of assignments for Chicago magazine UR Chicago. In their February issue out now, I have a mini-review of my local coffeeshop/restaurant Cafénéo, a q&a-style interview with one of my favorite comediennes, Margaret Cho, and the cover featre on the Scissor Sisters. So it's all very exciting as I've been published before but never in a cool, glossy magazine like this one. And I got paid!

For some reason the Margaret Cho interview isn't online, but it's about her new career path into bellydancing and burlesque. She was in Chicago last month to perform in Gurlesque Burlesque, a fundraiser for the Sissy Butch Brothers' documentary about the history of burlesque and Exotic World, the burlesque museum of Las Vegas and the only archive in the world of bulesque-esque materials.

I went to the show so I could, you know, know what I was talking about when writing the article. I've never seen any burlesque before so this was quite the plunge into feminist, political debauchery. How could I not love it? "George and Dick" performed an act in which they dressed up as, well, our good friends and national leaders George and Dick, complete with plastic masks and and business suits. They stripped each other, ending up as George and Dick's creepy, smiling faces on top of two topless, bikini-clad women's bodies. They stepped into a kiddie pool and poured oil over each other and wrestled, finishing by draping an American flag over themselves.

Sassbox was a trio of women singing an a capella bluegrass lullaby while being washed down by an admiring fan. The Boyz, a group of drag kings, dressed as sperm trying to impregnate an egg to Eminem's "Lose Yourself" ("You've only got one shot/Do not miss your chance to blow!"). And Julie Atlas Muz, a well-known dancer and one of Cho's inspirations, performed two fantastic acts, one of which included a life-sized balloon that, by the end, she had completely crawled into and danced with a spotlight behind her, illuminating her sillouette as she writhed around inside.

Cho was equally awesome. For her first act, she emerged dressed completely in Aztec warrior garb, complete with helmet with a huge, sprouting mohawk, breastplate, shield and spear. She stripped and strutted around the stage, slowly losing each piece of her costume. Then, when it looks like she's about to rip off her black warrior skirt, she instead rips it in half. The waistband was actually two flexible batons with transparent black flags attached, draping all the way down to her feet and back up behind her, attaching at the back of her neck. She whipped those suckers around like some kind of warrior butterfly. She finished on the floor, topless. Oh, yeah, all this was done to Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun."

For her second act, she slowly stripped off a nightgown while also flinging around two giant, pink-feathered fans that would throw Karl Lagerfeld into a jealous hissy-fit. She finally used them to reveal a twist ending worthy of David Lynch. I'll use a condensed excerpt from my interview to explain:

Me: Some of your burlesque is described as involving "gender swapping" and "gender play." What does that mean?

Cho: I have a very, very realistic false penis that will sometimes appear during dance routines. It's very shocking. It's very big.

Me: How big?

Cho: I don't know, but he's very big. Well, that's what people tell me - that he's very shockingly big.

So there you have it. I was paid to see Margaret Cho almost naked with a very shockingly big (and very dark) dick - with equally big, dark balls - dangling between her legs. Yeah. Awesome.

Filthy and Gorgeous

Ladies and gentlemen, break out the sequins and adjust your disco balls, because the Scissor Sisters are back.

Exploding onto the UK charts two years ago with their self-titled debut full of catchy glam-pop, the Sisters found middling success here in the States, where the airwaves are dominated by rigidly masculine rock and hip-hop. This, of course, was exactly why they were such a welcome distraction from the generic, marginally talented acts showcased on TV and radio. Scissor Sisters was packed with intelligent, hilarious, dirty anthems that transcended the narrow, if slightly accurate, defintion of "disco."

Which is why, at first, I was slightly disappointed with Ta-Dah, their second CD. The songs didn’t seem to pop the way they had on SS’ debut. On that album, the aural assault of opener “Laura” segued into the fizzy guitars of “Take Your Momma Out” which floated into the spacey falsettos of the Led Zeppelin cover, “Comfortably Numb.” On Ta-Dah, the contrasts might not always be as sharp, but repeated listening reveals lyrics that are at turns hilarious and haunting and musical influences ranging from barbershop quartets to cheesy rock musicals.

They embody a rebellious, pan-sexual decadance, with a wit so often spiked with arsenic. "I Can't Decide" is a perky confession of murderous intentions that are only resisted because Jake Shears, the band's lead singer and co-writer, is convinced he'll be killed in retaliation if he fails. On "Intermission," Shears sounds like he should be doing soft-shoe with a hat and cane while blithely tossing off lines like "Happy yesterday to all/We were born to die." (The CD cover should have tipped me off to the madcap darkness inside. It recalls imagery from both ends of 80’s horror: the exalted classic The Shining [think of the elevator scene] and the cheesy, low-budget April Fool’s Day.)

Don't get me wrong - the Sisters still like to party. It's hard to deny the ecstatic power once Shears' voice soars halfway through the chorus of "Lights," and "Kiss You Off" may simply be one of the most fun songs ever about kicking out an inadequate lover using an extended cosmetic metaphor. If you learn the brilliant lyrics to the rollicking chorus, you'll definitely win karoake night.

The party theme continues behind the scenes as well, with Elton John co-writing and playing piano on two songs and none other than Miss Cristal Conners herself, Gina Gershon, playing harp on "I Can't Decide" (that was a very weird sentence to write).

But I also can't emphasize enough the intelligent, thoughtful craft behind their more introspective songs. Like how the rambling, meandering verse on "Might Tell You Tonight" recreates a giddy, nervous, stream-of-conscious confession of love. "The Other Side" is a prayer from one dying lover to another ("I'll count our blessings as I/wait for you, on the other side") and the pauses in the verse echo real-life silences in hospital rooms.

I feel somewhat guilty enjoying the fruits of Shears and Co.’s misery, but when it produces such lyrics as “If lies were cats you’d be a litter,” how could I not? In fact, in only twelve songs amounting to forty-five minutes, the sonic champagne of Ta-Dah proves that the Scissor Sisters may be one of the best, most consistent bands at constructing perfect pop songs.