Showing posts with label Chi-townin'. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chi-townin'. Show all posts

12.16.2007

Top Five Art Moments of 2007

Yes, I'm doing my own Best Of lists. Future posts might include such classic gems as "Best Music of 2007," "Best Books of 2007" and "Best Amy Sedaris Quotes of 2007." Yes, you're going to enjoy them, and that's that. Don't give me that attitude or we'll turn this blog right around and go home.

That's better. On to the not-at-all-comprehensive recollections of a totally amateur yet enthusiastic art seer/goer/observer/taker-in-er!

My year in art started at the Museum of Modern Art's Richard Serra exhibit, Sculpture: Forty Years in June. (I know, my "year in art" didn't start until halfway through - see "amateur" comment in previous paragraph.) As the title implies, this was a comprehensive survey of the artist. Serra's smaller sculptures seem to flout gravity and physics, making heavy metals seem as light as a penny and fragile as glass. But the real story is Serra's work with sheet metal. Huge, sprawling slabs are erected in swirling, angled mazes that, again, seemingly defy the laws of nature. As you walk through the twisting halls, your own sense of balance becomes compromised. This isn't art that forces the audience to question or engage with their relationship to it - this is art that will literally get inside your head, flicking your equilibrium like a light switch, as if reminding the materialistic modern world to appreciate and be awed by its powerful industrial roots.

I missed MoMa's Jeff Wall exhibit by about three weeks, so I was glad to catch it when it showed up at the Art Institute of Chicago. Wall's large, back-lit, incredibly detailed photographs often look candid but many are in fact staged, employing casts, crews and special effects. While some seem genuinely spontaneous, like Mimic, and some stretch the suspension of disbelief while still looking downright cool (for lack of a better word [and why shouldn't "cool" be good enough a word to describe art, anyway?]), like Milk, pictured above, in some the artist insinuates himself to the forefront. Sure, The Flooded Grave, pictured left, looks great, with its open grave filled with sealife, but you can't help noticing the falsity of the moment. Is that the point? Even more distracting is the inconsistent seams that appear through the exhibit in Wall's larger, panoramic works. Some had clearly visible seams, some didn't. Were they unintentional? Or just more of Wall making us question not just the art itself, but the process of how he created it? (As opposed to say, Barry Frydlender, exhibited at MoMa at the same time as Serra. Frydlender's large, digitally composited photographs were perfectly seamless.) Worthwhile questions, to be sure - I still haven't figured out how I feel about it all. Like filling, stick-to-your-ribs food, this is stick-to-your-mind art, provocative not just for the (often beautiful) end product, but the means Wall used to get there.

In a stroke of a good luck, another photographer, Richard Misrach, was showing at the AIC at the same time as Wall. The AIC was the first museum to collect 20 of Misrach's beach-themed photographs into an exhibit that began a two-year tour. On the Beach showcased large, color photographs of seaside portraits, with the photographer somehow magically floating above the scenes at incredible heights like a voyeuristic angel. The photos often have no horizon and just one or two people either on the sand or floating in the water, presenting a beautiful, strangely peaceful post-apocalyptic (post-9/11?) world. Walking through the narrow halls of the AIC's basement, surrounded by Misrach's expansive shots of endless waves of water, it was serene, melancholy and creepy all at the same time.

On a cold November evening, my friend Laura and I hopped over to the River East Arts Center for Red Bull's The Art of Can exhibit. Yes, you read that right. Red Bull, the liquid crack of energy drinks, hosted a touring art exhibit with sculptures primarily featuring - what else? - Red Bull cans. This appealed on numerous levels: using the Official Sponsor of Underagers, All-Night Ravers and Wannabe Playas to make pop art; the contrast of a cheesy, nasty-smelling, chemical-laden beverage and the occasionally beautiful art made out of its cans; and the potential awfulness of it all. High on a mixture of invigorating winter chills and numerous vodka and Red Bulls (smells like feet!) provided by the gallery, Laura and I toured the many attempts of making treasure out of trash. Some succeeded, like the hovering, fluid, mythic dragon, and some failed, like the uncreative flower-blooming-out-of-a-Red-Bull-can. (Seriously? That's all you could come up with?) These mostly small, shiny objects were like DIY toys - not all art has to take itself seriously, right? But we were the real winners, as where else could you get drunk enough to both enjoy product placement art and blatantly mock said art under the alibi of said drunkeness?

My year in art closed recently with a quick bus ride over to Western Exhibitions, a small studio space in an isolated Chicago warehouse. John Parot's Biological Exuberance, influenced by and named after Bruce Bagemhi's book documenting gay behavior in animals, explores the mating rituals of modern gay men. Multimedia wall art featured cookie-cutter, mask-like faces (using the eyes and mouths from pictures of real-life models and porn stars cut out of magazines) playing out predator and prey roles. Floor installations group Diet Coke cans, whiskey and wine bottles and porn tapes, memorializing clichés that become even more interesting when tied to pink ropes attached to the wall, as if they're bait used to lure the unsuspecting. Most disturbing is Parot's use of color and 80's reference points: black paint drips down over Dead Can Dance and Velvet Underground paraphernalia and very 80's colors like hot pinks and electric blues, like how the death scare of AIDS began to overwhelm gay nightlife in the 80's. An interesting, if not entirely original, concept (human mating rituals mimic those found in nature) is served with a twist, if you will.

Okay, we made it! That wasn't too bad, was it? Everyone get out and take a bathroom break because we have a few more Best Of lists to go, coming up soon.

Also check out: Black and White and....
And: Blood, Boys and Bambinas.

11.12.2007

Blood, Boys and Bambinas

After breaking 2007's record for Most Posts in a Single Month (October. 9. Sad.), I have been largely absent from blogging due to crazy work hours and other writerly side projects. So, before I get to pop culture goodies that have been rattling around in my brain like so many Jawbreakers, here's a three-point update:

1) Spent any good time in an ER lately? Yeah, I have. On a Saturday night. Because I apparently swallowed glass or a thumbtack or a chainsaw or something. So my experience at the Illinois Masonic's ER is featured for a week at GapersBlock, a Chicago-themed website. Click here to read about blood-spattered equipment! Crazy patients! Communicating without cell phones! If you're still suffering from a post-Halloween hangover, consider this your literary hair of the dog.

2) November is also time for Reeling Film Festival, Chicago's 26th annual gay and lesbian film festival. I wrote about it for UR Chicago Magazine here and, after enjoying the opening night's film, Shelter, reviewed it here. Click on the links to read about sexy surfer boys! International gay scandals! And did I mention sexy surfer boys?!

3) In news that has nothing to do with me, Chicago, writing, or really anything already covered in this post, I recently found out that our Italian Culinary Princess, Miss Giada de Laurentiis, is pregnant! Food Network Musings has the scoop. Can you imagine Giada pregnant? Remember how, um, top-heavy Salma Hayek became during her pregnancy? Giada will be like the Italian equivalent. I hope she doesn't tip over. But it's very exciting news for her and her husband...as long as she's not lying. (Just kidding!) (Or am I?)

Enjoy these stories while I mentally upchuck the Jawbreaker ideas in my head onto paper. (Lovely image, eh? I think that time in the ER has kind of stayed with me.)

(And, P.S., I said "upchuck." I just thought I'd point that out.)

Also check out: UR Out. Seriously, You Are.
And: LOL @ NPR.

10.04.2007

Curse you, Hung!

Since you are both a) the newly crowned Season Three winner of Top Chef and b) not from Chicago, you ruined the potential trinity of Chicago reality show winners. You narrowly defeated fellow Chicagoan Dale, who would have joined recent America's Next Top Model winner Jaslene (TM) (that's right, I added the TM because if you check out her MySpace profile you'll see that she trademarked her name) and Bravo sister show Top Design winner Matt Lorenz to become the third Chicago reality competition winner in a row. Now our all-powerful, world-crushing triumvirate will never be. And it's all because of two things: curry and cake.

You see, in last night's Top Chef finale, Dale and Hung were duking it out with Casey for the highly-esteemed title and prize money. Casey unfortunately buckled under all that altitude. (Seriously, Casey, you knew the finale was going to take place in Aspen, you know altitude affects cooking times and temperatures, do your research!) So, with four dishes per contestant to choose from, the judges decided that Hung and Dale each had two of the best dishes.

That's where the debate kicked in. Hung kind of missed with his first dish, which lacked acidity, and then underwhelmed again with his dessert, a clichéd chocolate lava cake that in no way fit in with the rest of his impressive Asian menu. Dale, on the other hand, served up a curried lobster dish with unforgivably heavy gnocchi and way too much curry. While Hung's cake was boring, at least it was edible. So the it came down to, is it better for a chef to make a safe choice that doesn't impress but doesn't repel, or should a Top Chef serve up a bold, risky dish even if it goes down in flames?

Earlier in the season, when Casey was winning multiple challenges in a row, it seemed like the finale would be between her soulful cuisine and Hung's technically-perfect food. We already had the Heart & Soul vs. Scientific Precision debate in Season Two, where Ilan's soulful heartiness (or is it hearty soulfulness?) flambéed Marcel's steely glares and fluffy foams. So I'm glad this season's finale was a little different. Would underdog Dale's rollercoaster dinner of robust highs and inedible lows trump front-runner Hung's smooth, analytical consistency?

Well, we know where the judges stand on this issue. You could frame it as, who's restaurant would you rather eat at? Hung's, where everything is perfect if sometimes safe and unsurprising? Or Dale's, where you might get a flawless, creative dish or one so inedible you have to send it back?

It's a trick question. Hung would probably never serve that chocolate lava cake at a restaurant. He's not a baker, he just memorized one cake recipe to pull out of his hat should the need arise. And Dale would never really serve the lobster dish, as chefs don't whip up dishes on the fly and send them out without tasting and testing, going through draft after draft until they get it right.

I'm sure a lot of people will use this finale as evidence that Casey only got as far as she did because Bravo wanted to keep around a cute woman for ratings (which makes no sense because, hi, Bravo is gayer than Logo and here! making out to Fall Out Boy). I can't believe how many comments I've seen on message boards claiming that the only reason she survived was because she's like Jennifer Aniston with bigger boobs, even though we saw episode after episode with Casey deservedly winning. And I also can't understand people bemoaning Hung's win just because he's arrogant and unlikable. To paraphrase ANTM's ever-brilliant, philosophical Jade, this isn't Top Best Friend. In the end, I could understand the decision going either way. As Dale would say, it was "100% 50/50."

The truly disappointing part isn't that Chicago doesn't get one more cubic zirconium jewel in its plastic reality-show crown. It's that, with Top Chef now over, I won't be able to use my brilliant joke that I have yet been able to work into converations:

Padma Lakshmi?

I like her, too.

Also check out: Deep Thoughts From America's Next Top Model, part 6.
And: Top Chef Check-In.

9.13.2007

UR Out. Seriously, You Are.

So you may have noticed that little pic/caption on the side of my blog about how I now write for UR Chicago, a local, monthly entertainment and culture magazine. I had done some freelance work for them in the past, interviewing Margaret Cho and Paddy Boom, among other articles. But now I am a full-fledged member of their writing staff. Hooray for jobs/side projects that actually relate to my college major whether directly or indirectly!

Let's back up. This past March, UR found new owners in the form of En Prise Entertainment, an event promotion and artist management company, and with them came a new editor-in-chief. Since then, in my humble opinion, UR has really popped. The covers alone are unique and fantastic. I mean, look at this cover for the current issue about food. Who does magazine covers like that? I don't see magazines looking like that anywhere else in the city...or, country even?

Plus, their food and wine coverage is always informative, they interview the most interesting personalities whether local or national, and they cover everything from sex toys to local do-gooders to Chicago's crazy nightlife. Most impressively, their awesomely expansive music section showcases the latest and greatest and have introduced me to some of my favorite new bands (hi, The Attorneys!). They even revamped the website and added a kickass podcast where you can listen to all the music that's featured in each issue. And just when you thought they might have been too cool for school, they even add a Dogs & Babies section. Hey, babies can be trendy, right? Word.

But just to completely round out the Chicago experience, they have also added an LGBT section. To my surprise and delight, they asked me to create the content every month. Wait, how did they know I was even gay to begin with? Oh, yeah. And, yeah. And...yeah. So anyway, each month is a new article and event listings written by yours truly.

Anyway, the section is called UR Out (I love the accusatory/informative statement behind the name; see title of this post) and it debuts in this month's issue. You know, Chicago's LGBT population (I prefer that to "community") may have the Windy City Times and a section in Time Out Chicago, among other publications, but with a city this big there's always room for more coverage, right? I just hope I do my fellow 'mos proud through fun, informative articles. I'm also expecting to learn a lot in the process, about Chicago's LGBT scene, about writing on deadlines and about how the local/national LGBT stories evolve over time, especially in these heightened, we've-come-so-far-but-have-so-far-to-go times.

P.S. If you have something going on you'd like to see listed in our event listings, or know about something I should check out, please email the details to urout@urchicago.com.

Also check out: UR Here.
And: U {Heart} Pierogis.

8.12.2007

Spread the Word

...and the love. The first annual QueerFest Midwest is coming to Chicago on August 25th.

From UR Chicago (more of which I'll get to in a later post)...

On August 25, Pulaski Park Fieldhouse in Wicker Park will hold Chicago's first music and art festival for the Gay-Lesbian-Bi-Transgendered (GLBT) community. Queer Fest Midwest will gather and showcase the artistic talents of the GLBT community through their wide range of musical acts, as well as visual and interactive artists, while raising money for About Face Theater, a theater company that creates city and nation wide dialogue about gender and sexuality through their plays. The visual arts portion of the festival - "The Cowboy and The Pegasus" - focuses on the wide range of work by local and national recognized queercore media artists. The exhibition features video artists Sadie Benning, Dylan Mira, Latham Zearfoss and Bruce La Bruce, paintings by Zack Stiglicz, Grant Schexnider and Terrance Koh, photography by Sean Fader, the creative concepts of Will Harrison and Kean O'Brien, and a confessional documentary about HIV by Charles Lum.

Musical performances by...
Katastrophe
The Ex-Members
Johnny Dangerous
Chris Garneau
Katz
Gina Young and Team Gina
and many more


For more info check out the festival's MySpace page.


6.06.2007

The Same Thing We All Do With Our Feet

Many bloggers have talked about the funny phrases people look up that somehow lead them to their blogs. At this point, it's almost a cliché post. But I can't keep one in particular to myself. (Trust me, I could have done a whole post about how someone looked up the phrase "Who decided that Elizabeth Berkeley is attractive" and found my site...but I didn't.) When looking up what leads people to my blog, I came across this phrase:

What did the most flexible japense [sic] women do with her feet?


Um, WHAT?!?! Is there some Japanese (sorry, "Japense") woman who's somehow been proven to be more flexible than every other Japanese woman alive? And does she do something strange with her feet? It almost sounds like a riddle...and I came up with an answer that's just too dirrrty to mention. So I'll go with title here as the answer.

Not only did it lead this flexible Japanese fetishist to my site, I was the #1 result on Google for this particular phrase. I couldn't tell from the other results what they were looking for in the first place. The reason my blog was pulled at all was because of this post featuring my description of Margaret Cho's burlesque show, which I can assure you had nothing to do with her doing anything special with her feet.

In other not-really-news about people lumping together things that are only barely related, CBS Chicago's website features a completely random slideshow on their site where they basically try to list every single celebrity who's gay and out. The only explanation given is:

Here's a look at some stars who are living openly gay lives, and realizing that it is "in to be out."


I love how "in to be out" is in quotes as if that's a phrase that people actually use. I've never heard anyone say this, probably because it's not really true. To be sure, they feature Rupert Everett, who actually reveals in his autobiography that he lost roles in movies like About A Boy specifically because he is gay. I don't mean to belittle the progress that has been made when people like Neil Patrick Harris and T.R. Knight have come out and still maintained solid careers, but I just wish that CBS Chicago had maybe put this feature in some context and really explained why it was there.

And, oh yeah..."some stars"? They list every single gay person who's ever had even the most passing brush with fame, not to mention the most obviously gay celebrities that even the most clueless straight people would already know. News flash: The stars of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy are...wait for it...queer!

But what they can do with their feet remains to be seen.

Also check out: This Post is AWESUM.
And: Who Wants to See That?

5.27.2007

This Post is AWESUM

I just took a lovely walk through the tree-lined, sun-dappled streets of my neighborhood. I picked up some báhn mí sandwiches, shrimp rolls and steamed pork buns (tee-hee) at a new French-Vietnamese bakery. Hoping to score some limoncello, I stopped in a local liquor store. You know the kind: dirty floors, dirty shelves, merchandise that's been there since 1982, and a very weathered, heavily eye-linered woman behind the counter gruffly asking, "How ya doin'?" as if her throat was lined with sandpaper.

Anyway, they were out of limoncello (that stuff is hard to find, yo) so I picked up some citron vodka. As I was paying for it, I turned around to see a sign behind me:

Absolutely NO wireless communications allowed in this store.

Xplanation - They are VEXING and INSOLENT.


What I love about this is that it's so direct and yet it leaves so many questions. "Xplanation"? Doesn't spelling it like that deserve an xplanation of its own? Was that intentional? And is writing out an "E" such a time-sucking burden? For people who are so against "wireless communications," I would they think they'd find spelling a word like that cutesy and annoying. While this is not the first store to have rules against cell phones, it is the first I've seen to use such sophisticated and accurate adjectives.

Maybe it's not just the merchandise that's stuck in 1982 there. The ironic part is, if there wasn't such vexing wireless communications in the first place, they wouldn't have to put up such a great sign. I think that sign itself might justify all the unnecessary, attention-sapping and, yes, insolent technologies that the store owners are so against. But I wouldn't xplain that to them.

5.04.2007

In Defense of Amy Winehouse

Neo-soul singer Amy Winehouse just played at the Vic in Chicago last night and the local critics were eager to voice their disappointment. Time Out Chicago's blog pointed out the shame "that Winehouse’s raw talent – so ably displayed on her recent Back To Black album – didn’t translate to a live setting." And Chicagoist pulled no punches: "From a critical standpoint, she was just a train wreck."

Ouch.

Chicagoist's Tankboy mentions that her SXSW performance "produced the buzz she rode into her sold-out Chicago show." Well, I didn't hear any of that buzz, so I came in with lower expectations. I love BtB, I've seen the music videos and read the booze and drug-streaked stories about her on gossip blogs. More importantly, I also checked out some performance videos on YouTube where she basically stood at a mic and sang in a dark, small space to subdued crowds. So as I walked into the early twentieth-century vaudeville theater, I wondered, "what will she actually do on a full stage?"

First, her 9-piece band, The Dap Kings, filed onto stage. Then Amy struts on to rapturous applause and good Lord she is tiny. Seriously, she's like a foot shorter than everyone else. (I don't just mean on stage. She's basically a foot shorter than anyone, ever) Her huge, upswept black hair and thick Cleopatra eye shadow probably weigh more than she does. She was wearing a belly-baring (and, thusly, tattoo-bearing) t-shirt and the lowest slung jeans I have ever seen. My first thought was, "is she going to sing out of her vagina?" I mean, I know she's talented...

Anyway. I, for one, was riveted by her. She carried a basket full of candy and popped in two huge pieces of bubblegum, and then sang flawlessly anyway. Between songs, after admitting in her thick British accent that she's terrible with onstage banter, she starts throwing candy into the crowd. Chicagoist referred to this as "padding" her set. Since when is talking to the crowd and having fun "padding"? Her remarks, when understandable, were hilarious. She danced in her own little funny way and made sure the stagehands kept her plastic cup full of gin. I like her.

There were nuances that maybe not every audience member could see depending on their angle. Chicagoist criticized her " annoying tendency to try and pull off the 'bad girl' act to mask insecurity and inexperience." She seemed genuinely surprised at the crowd's roaring enthusiasm, eliciting a smirk or widened eyes from her and looking back at her band as if to say, "can you believe this?" I swear we were witnessing this very young - and yes, maybe insecure - woman realizing the power she wields. She seemed to flit from unsure to torchy diva to brassy badass back to shy again within minutes. She is only 23 after all. (And then, to be honest, sometimes she seemed to be coasting on her big, bluesy voice alone.) It was raw, unpolished, uneven and totally refreshing to watch.

Did the show have problems? Sure. The set was short, but if you were smart enough to snag the tickets when they were $20 you might not be as pissed about that. The Dap Kings were underutilized. And, for some reason, they did rush the songs, but it seems inaccurate to criticize Amy for rushing her delivery - the songs were simply played faster so she accomodated appropriately.

Did she nervously fuss with her hair? Not that much, but even if she did, c'mon! Where do you think she keeps her extra booze? And yes she hiked up her jeans a lot, but no one criticizes rappers for touching their crotches for no reason a bazillion times per show. When Amy does it, it's a sign of her lack of presence.

On the contrary, it's exactly all these little tics and flaws that made her so interesting. She's not a one-note, run-up-and-down-the-stage performer, nor should she try to be. She's not a rock star. BtB is polished, but that doesn't mean we have to expect her performances to be. Many of her songs are about her fucking up, she referred to herself as "fuck up" on stage, and she's even documented her refusal to clean up her fucked-up-ness on her hit "Rehab." We all knew exactly what we were getting when going to her show. You can call her a "train wreck," but why stop there? She was a boozy, messy, funny, flirty, great-sounding train wreck. And it was bewitching.

Also check out: Soul Sisters: Amy Winehouse and Joss Stone.
And: Out with the Old, In with the Slightly Less Old.

4.22.2007

WWED?

So today is Earth Day. Happy Birthday, Earth! No, wait, that's not what today is about.

Happy Anniversary, ol' buddy! No? That's not it, either?

Um...

Here's to another year of sobriety? What? Oh, okay...

Um...

Happy 161st blog post, Earth! Wait, that's me.

Anyway, today is Earth Day, so apparently we're supposed to celebrate this by eating. Or, that's what it seemed like at the Green Expo in Chicago this weekend. Organic lavender chocolate, vegan "ice cream," hemp oil tastings, organic cherry cabernet jam, vegan BBQ soy nuggets with vegan BBQ sauce, etc.

There were other booths, of course, all celebrating everything and anything "green." Housed in the huge McCormick Place, there were so many products that some vendors had to share the same booth. Paint, clothes, soap, razors, tiles, rugs, new magazines, books, office supplies, baskets made out of recycled chopsticks and more. It was like a street fair but with more flax and less drugs.

Maybe it could be called the "Whole Foods Effect," or maybe it's because of An Inconvenient Truth, but, based on those attending the Expo, the green movement and environmentalism seem to be getting more and more mainstream, which in turn attracts diversity. Families with SUV strollers paraded through middle-aged couples in hemp shirts. Buff pretty boys lead their girlfriends past skinny, dread-locked hippies on cell phones. Maybe it was the cause, maybe it was the great weather, but everyone seemed pretty pleasant in the loud, packed exhibit.

One of my favorite highlights was the Steaz booth. They created a line of organic green tea sodas with only organic Ceylon green tea, natural flavors and organic cane juice (not high fructose corn syrup!). In flavors like orange, root beer and lemon dew, they are slightly fizzy and not too sweet. Even better news was the Steaz Energy drink, the self-proclaimed "world's first certified USDA Organic and Fair Trade energy drink." Combining guayaki yerba mate ("nature's most balanced stimulant") and guarana ("high in naturally occurring caffeine") with natural flavors and organic green tea, one can has 80mg of caffeine without that awful, chemically sweet taste of most energy drinks.

While recharging with an organic energy drink, why not charge your cell phone the natural way? Noon Solar has created a line of handbags with a solar panel on one side and inside is a small charger. After sun exposure for a minimum of three hours, you can remove the charger, plug in your cell phone or iPod and recharge it wherever you want. Not only is it a practical way to start thinking about sustainable, renewable energy, the bags are rugged and, well, stylish. I mean, why shouldn't it be environmentally friendly and cool-looking?

Even conscientious crowds can be overwhelming so we left after a few hours. As we walked down to dinner, the wind had blown garbage from overstuffed dumpsters across a few, normally well-maintained streets.

"Ugh," I frowned. "Isn't this supposed to be Earth Day?"

So we picked up what we could. And when picking up the bf's eye contact solution at Walgreens, the cashier put the single box into a plastic bag.

"No, thanks," he told her, carrying it home in hand.

Just what Earth would want us to do.

Also check out: LOL @ NPR.
And: That Pretty Much Sums It Up.

2.19.2007

LOL @ NPR

This past Thursday a group of friends, my sweetie and I braved Chicago's Antarctic weather conditions as we headed over to a taping of NPR's political/current events-based game show, Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me!. Five hundred audience members sat in the Chase Auditorium, our seats enveloped in layers of shed coats and scarves, as the three guest panelists and two hosts took the stage. This particular show featured humorist and writer Roy Blount, Jr., Washington Post's Roxanne Roberts and former Daily Show correspondent/"television personality" Mo Rocca.

Host Peter Sagal immediately apologized for being somewhat moody, as he too was convinced that he was Anna Nicole Smith's baby's daddy. He then confirmed that the ANS references would be kept to a minimum for the rest of the evening and, aside from one or two exceptions, he was thankfully right. They launched into the questions, covering everything from Google Earth's most popular searches (nude sunbathers), how the Chinese government used green spray paint to make a dilapidated mountain range look prettier and the new culinary trend of picking up roadkill for food. All true stories, by the way. There were callers who answered questions for the chance to have judge and scorekeepr Carl Kasell leave the outgoing message on their voicemail. It would be worth it, too - the man could read a physics textbook out loud and make it sound badass.

The show got even more interesting with the segment called "Not My Job," where a celebrity of varying degrees (I guess some would qualify more as "personalities") calls in, ostensibly to participate in the quizzes but moreso to shill their latest project. Our show featured French chef Roland Mesnier, who has been the White House pastry chef for the past 25 years, from Carter to Dubya, and documents it all in his new book, All the President's Pastries. It was interesting to hear how stern Nancy Reagan was about entertaining, or how our current president likes "simple" desserts such as "American cake." But as Mesnier said, "It made no difference if [they] are Democrat or Republican, they all enjoyed my desserts."

Mesnier was quite the good sport. You know how, when you watch game shows in a language you don't understand, no matter what they're doing, they just seem so weird? Such as when Bill Murray's movie star character in Lost in Translation appeared on that Japense game show that made absolutely no sense to him since he didn't understand Japanese. If you remove even one factor - such as language or context - from what is otherwise a perfectly normal or funny situation, it appears as strange and nonsensical.

It would be funny if Mesnier was actually thinking, I climbed my way to the White House and they're asking me about fried worms? But he played along very well. He answered Sagal's multiple-choice question about 3 possible desserts eaten around the world - including the real answer of larvettes, which are fried mealworm larvae - by pausing for a perfect beat before asking incredulously, "Who eats that stuff?" The thickly-accented Frenchman laughed when Rocca asked him to say "Be our guest, be our guest..." and even bid adieu by claiming, "Time to make the doughnuts."

As the show wrapped up, the diverse crowd started weighing themselves down with layer upon layer of winter accessories. I couldn't help but notice a number of attractive twentysomethings in the audience. Who knew NPR listeners were so sexy? Maybe it was that whole metrosexual thing that told straight men it was okay to find clothes that fit, but there were quite a few guys who, a few years ago, could have been sweaty boys playing Dungeon & Dragons in their basement but were now stylishly scruffy.

We ventured out back into the bracing winds, standing under heat lamps while waiting for the Brown Line. We repeated the funny lines to each other (Rocca to Mesnier: "It's not 'creme brulée' anymore, it's Freedom Custard"), compared notes on the sexy group sitting behind us and eventually made our way onto the El only to be joined in the same car by some punk-ish kids with an empty grocery cart. Technically, they spoke the same language I do, but with the speeding train drowning out their conversation, three punk-ish kids with an empty grocery cart just seemed strange and nonsensical.

Also check out: Shut! Up!
And: The Death of the Metrosexual.

2.16.2007

UR Here

So part of the reason I've been largely absent from the blogging scene recently is due to the unexpected rush of assignments for Chicago magazine UR Chicago. In their February issue out now, I have a mini-review of my local coffeeshop/restaurant Cafénéo, a q&a-style interview with one of my favorite comediennes, Margaret Cho, and the cover featre on the Scissor Sisters. So it's all very exciting as I've been published before but never in a cool, glossy magazine like this one. And I got paid!

For some reason the Margaret Cho interview isn't online, but it's about her new career path into bellydancing and burlesque. She was in Chicago last month to perform in Gurlesque Burlesque, a fundraiser for the Sissy Butch Brothers' documentary about the history of burlesque and Exotic World, the burlesque museum of Las Vegas and the only archive in the world of bulesque-esque materials.

I went to the show so I could, you know, know what I was talking about when writing the article. I've never seen any burlesque before so this was quite the plunge into feminist, political debauchery. How could I not love it? "George and Dick" performed an act in which they dressed up as, well, our good friends and national leaders George and Dick, complete with plastic masks and and business suits. They stripped each other, ending up as George and Dick's creepy, smiling faces on top of two topless, bikini-clad women's bodies. They stepped into a kiddie pool and poured oil over each other and wrestled, finishing by draping an American flag over themselves.

Sassbox was a trio of women singing an a capella bluegrass lullaby while being washed down by an admiring fan. The Boyz, a group of drag kings, dressed as sperm trying to impregnate an egg to Eminem's "Lose Yourself" ("You've only got one shot/Do not miss your chance to blow!"). And Julie Atlas Muz, a well-known dancer and one of Cho's inspirations, performed two fantastic acts, one of which included a life-sized balloon that, by the end, she had completely crawled into and danced with a spotlight behind her, illuminating her sillouette as she writhed around inside.

Cho was equally awesome. For her first act, she emerged dressed completely in Aztec warrior garb, complete with helmet with a huge, sprouting mohawk, breastplate, shield and spear. She stripped and strutted around the stage, slowly losing each piece of her costume. Then, when it looks like she's about to rip off her black warrior skirt, she instead rips it in half. The waistband was actually two flexible batons with transparent black flags attached, draping all the way down to her feet and back up behind her, attaching at the back of her neck. She whipped those suckers around like some kind of warrior butterfly. She finished on the floor, topless. Oh, yeah, all this was done to Soundgarden's "Black Hole Sun."

For her second act, she slowly stripped off a nightgown while also flinging around two giant, pink-feathered fans that would throw Karl Lagerfeld into a jealous hissy-fit. She finally used them to reveal a twist ending worthy of David Lynch. I'll use a condensed excerpt from my interview to explain:

Me: Some of your burlesque is described as involving "gender swapping" and "gender play." What does that mean?

Cho: I have a very, very realistic false penis that will sometimes appear during dance routines. It's very shocking. It's very big.

Me: How big?

Cho: I don't know, but he's very big. Well, that's what people tell me - that he's very shockingly big.


So there you have it. I was paid to see Margaret Cho almost naked with a very shockingly big (and very dark) dick - with equally big, dark balls - dangling between her legs. Yeah. Awesome.

5.11.2006

Windy City? Meet Mother Nature. She's Drunk.


Today in Chicago we had fifty degree weather and a rain storm. The brutal wind was like a phantom boxer, slamming me with uppercuts and jabs from every direction. My umbrella would flip inside out and, as soon as I fixed it and aimed it against the wind, would flip open again as the wind instantly changed direction. My fellow pedestrians struggled along with me, a people mocked by the ravaging forces of nature who point at our trendy briefcases and expensive haircuts and laugh.

When I settled back in my office, I noticed that one of my shirt buttons had been whipped open as I had been stupid enough to run from Borders to my office with my jacket open. I then realized the whole point of the storm in the first place...

Mother Nature was trying to get in my pants, the slut.

Forunately, at least my shoes looked good, if a little slick. Because, according to RW holding court at the latest Roundtable discussion, if I was wearing those stupid loafers with tassels dangling on the top, I would have looked as ridiculous from the ankle down as I did from the waist up struggling with my stupid inverted umbrella. Curse ye, Fashion Gods, for letting these "shoes" take hold in the anals of style to become "classics" in the eyes of the stupid and drunk.

















The devil wears tassels.

1.31.2006

Shut! Up!

This weekend I was introduced to possibly the best culinary creation since deep-fried Twinkies.

The Chocolate Cake Shake.

What? Chocolate and cake and a shake all in one, you ask? Surely this man speaks of nothing but tomfoolery and ballyhoo, you proclaim! To all those naysayers, I say: bite those tongues! And then coat them with the most luxuriously ghetto drink you will ever have.

How is this crazy concoction actually concocted? There were many theories amidst my company: would it be like cookie dough ice cream, with gobs of raw goodness swirling around the milky base? Would it be like artificial cake flavoring, as if with some newfangled "cake" extract? Or would it simply be a chocolate shake adorned with chunks of crumbled Double Chocolate Supreme?

The answer to the Chocolate Cake Shake puzzle is, like most things in life, much simpler than predicted. It is merely this: take chocolate ice cream, milk, and one slice of chocolate cake - complete with chocolate frosting - and cram them into your glass/carafe/mixer. Blend until smooth and voila! A feast for kings and Dairy Queens, courtesy of national food chain Portillo's.

As I slurped the velvety smooth liquid through the straw from the offensively large, Big Gulp-esque styrofoam cup, a spattering of crumbs grazed my tongue. A-ha! I realized the genius contained within. Not only does the cake itself add an extra, unforeseen texture, but the frosting infuses the already thick ice cream-milk duet, creating a culinary harmony of sinfully dense, buttery rich heaven. Kahlua? Bailey's? Bah! Who needs them? My brain was heady with the liquid elation I was inhaling like a Hoover. Dionysis never had it so good!

Unfortunately, I was barely half-way through before feeling the dairy-fat brick form in my stomach, so I had to slow down (OK, I had to stop. I'm not James Frey, I don't have to exaggerate how tough I am!). However, this gave me time to consider: why stop with chocolate cake? Why not Red Velvet Cake Shake? Or Caramel Brownie Cake Shake? Or Banana Split Creme Brulee Crepes Suzette Cake Shake? Why not just jam every delicious, indulgent sweet treat into one giant carafe and blend with milk? All the flavors basically work with each other, right? Right?

So, to recap:








+









=


1.03.2006

That Pretty Much Sums It Up


Anyone living in Chicago should seriously consider buying this shirt from NewAthens.org. It pretty much sums up how the whole city feels about the Macy's vs. Marshall Field's situation.

Unfortunately, I'm thinking that, even with the ill will towards Macy's, as soon as it takes over MF's in fall 2006, people will still shop there. In an ideal world, everyone would boycott (although, as I'm finding out, people have found other reasons to boycott Macy's anyway), even if they were having some insane sales where everything was like $1. Then, Macy's would be all, "We made a mistake! We underestimated you Chicagoans! We thought you were all stupid midwesterners who would flock to our store like your cows flocks to a trough!"

Even though cows don't eat out of troughs, but whatever.

The irony is, I don't even like shopping at department stores anyway (too overwhelming and claustrophobic), but I do have a sense of history and tradition, and I am a fan of Chicago, so I know this is wrong. Maybe I'll go buy a shirt right now.

11.06.2005

Mr. Pickles Wants YOU to Procrastinate

At the DIY Trunk Show held in Wicker Park, Chicago this weekend, local artists gathered to display their homemade goods. Everything from chain-mail jewelry to smiley-faced, moustache-shaped pillows to bowls made out of melted vinyl records were stacked and sold. Low on cash, I snatched up a red leather Robocuff bracelet and a few other goodies. I thought I'd list a few to give all you office drones (says the jobless schmuck) more reasons to procrastinate.

1) One of the stand-outs included Forgotten Toybox, Debb Galcik's collection of paper goods (like these artsy journals). She also created what may have been the most professional-looking items at the show - these stunning copper journals (which were complemented by miniature versions made into necklaces).

2) Jeff Faye takes metal pipes, wooden doors, and other found objects and turns them into funky lamps that could easily fit into a variety of living rooms. I especially like his blender lamps.

3) Amid all the mismatched-scarf-and-puffy-vest indie kids, one woman won't forget the children. Atomic Mama lets you choose what fabric to use, and then turns them into bibs, reversible kimono shirts and more for children. If you want your toddler to be the coolest kid in the sandbox, make sure he's wearing a skull 'n crossbones kimono.

4) Finally, my absolute favorite and the subject of this post's title, everyone's new best friend...Mr. Pickles!!!This bespectacled cucumber travels the world with Hamburger Brown, Rotten Apple and Mr. Friend. Want to see "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" reenacted by pickles (and one very hungry Frankenstein)? Click here. Want to know what animals are indigenous to Miami? Click here. Want to hear a touching song about a hamburger who falls in love with a slug? Click here. Join Mr. Pickles as he skis, camps, and goes on a "Love Boat" cruise. It's delicious fun that will keep you entertained for hours (trust me).

That's all for now, kids. Have fun and remember, if you can dig it out of a trash can and turn it into a pair of earrings, that's art.

11.03.2005

Two to Check Out

This past Saturday, Navy Pier hosted the SOFA Exhibit, or Sculptural Objects & Functional Art. Amid the vast sea of funky flatware and chickenwire dresses, one particular artist really stood out. Ted Gall creates some of the most unique and beautiful pieces I've seen in a long time, ranging from fun and whimsical to dark and gothic. His pieces that he simply calls Heads are composed of numerous metallic layers that the viewer can peel away. It starts with, say, the face of a pig, which then folds open on hinges to reveal the face of a man, which then flips up to reveal a tiny scene of men overlooking a farm of pigs. The sculptures aren't very big and the amount of detail is extraordinary. Even a tiny girl walking with her father carries a teddy bear, or scenes right out of "The Wizard of Oz" are recreated with figures smaller than your thumbnail.

He also creates larger pieces, some life-sized or even bigger, all with wax and metals. At SOFA, one piece was an ashen puppeteer who is horrified to find that his puppet dangling below him has cut himself loose. The next piece was the marionette walking freely, his strings trailing behind him as if blowing in the wind. The sense of story, movement and environment was fantastic. You can get a sense of this with his piece called "Dancer."

Another artist website to visit is Rick Talley's photography. I just recently met him when I stayed in Kuaui, Hawaii. My friend Becky and I had a leak in our hotel bathroom ceiling, and before we knew it there was practically a waterfall above our toilet. Rick was the hotel's engineer and took care of it for us, but was so friendly that we all got to talking and it turns out that Rick regularly explores the island and takes pictures. I'll hopefully be able to post my own pics from my vacation soon, but Rick does a pretty good job of capturing the island's essence himself. He also taught us about "moonbows," which are rainbows created by rain and moonlight. I've never even heard of them, and Rick's got pictures! He said he'll be updating his site with more moonbow shots, but what he's already featuring gives you an idea of what this beautiful, peaceful island is like.

11.02.2005

Who Wants to See That?

If you haven't seen Capote, you're missing out on a good movie and a great performance by Phillip Seymor Hoffman as the eccentric writer researching what will become his famous best-seller, In Cold Blood.

But, when I saw the movie this past weekend, it was proceeded by a preview for Brokeback Mountain, the new Ang Lee film based on Annie Proulx's short story about two cowboys who fall in love. As the preview segues from a story about two young cowboys trying to find jobs to their new, secretive relationship, a man sitting behind me openly mocked the plot. "Who wants to see that?" was said loud enough for everyone around him to hear. Even more ridiculous was when the preview ended and the theater was in total darkness, he proclaims, "Well, that won't last a week."

Who is this moron? First of all, the movie is based on Proulx's story that helped The New Yorker win the National Magazine Award for Fiction. Proulx has also won a Pulizter Prize, so the source material is obviously pretty strong. Second, the film has already been sweeping through the film festivals with massive praise. The hype on this film hasn't quite reached the mainstream yet, so maybe he's not aware of the good will supporting the movie. But he did know, based on the preview, that the movie was directed by Ang Lee, who has given us such diverse quality films as Sense & Sensibility, The Ice Storm and Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. While he did slip with the big-screen version of The Incredible Hulk, he's still worthy of our trust to pick quality projects.

Even more importantly, my companion, Eric, pointed out that this guy is making these homophobic remarks at a screening of Capote, a movie about a well-known homosexual. He's so gay he makes Liberace look like Colin Farrell.

Not that being gay is the focus whatsoever of the movie; it's just portrayed as yet another layer to a fascinating, complicated man. But this moron in the theater was surrounded by many gay couples, and you'd think if sexual preference didn't deter him from seeing a film based on Truman Capote, he wouldn't be so upset by Brokeback Mountain, either.

I understand that Chicago is a midwestern city and therefore maybe not quite as progressive as, say, Manhattan (and there are some bigoted jerks in Manhattan, too), but I guess I assumed that most people living in a large urban area are more tolerant and accepting of other people's differences. I know Chicago is very segregated considering how diverse its population is, and I am aware of the occassional asshole who shows his bigotry in public (usually a twenty-something male insecure in his masculinity or middle-aged/older male who's still holding on to outdated generational values).

Still, I couldn't help but be riled by this guy's comments. I could've turned around to say something, but how do you respond to "Well, that won't last a week"? There was only a few seconds before the next preview started, so I couldn't exactly twist around and spew out, "Actually, sir, the movie is getting rave reviews by just about every critic who's seen it, many of whom predict it will win the Best Picture Oscar. And with its pedigreed cast and crew, it will likely appeal beyond a gay audience to anyone who seeks out quality cinema. Instead of merely lasting a week, it will probably be around for months, if not years. So get used to it."

This post is much longer than I expected it to be, and there's still more I could say, but I think the event speaks for itself. Luckily, a few minutes after this genius expressed his ill-informed opinion, the film I paid good money to see began, and for the next two hours I was lost in a story about a writer, who just happens to be gay, who contributed a body of work that has lasted much longer than a week.