You can check out my review of KT Tunstall's latest album, Drastic Fantastic, at UR Chicago's repository of awesomeness, also known as its website, here (scroll down until you see her name and album title).
You can also check out UR's interview with KT here. For a limited time, so act now! (Seriously, it's only up for a couple weeks.)
Also check out: Telescopic Boogaloo.
And: Feist Feels It All. A Lot.
With so many to choose from in this week's Cycle 9 premiere, where to begin with ANTM's contributions to philosophical quandries?
On self-contradiction!
Sylvia: "I'm not going to give this up. I'm going to give it one last shot."
On professionalism!
Janet: "I guess you've seen one butt, you've seen them all."
On kissing ass!
Tyra: "Any girl that gives me a simulated kitty cat wax is fine by me."
On violence versus, um, violence?...!
Marvita: "I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to slap the hell out of her."
And, finally, this show's raison d'etre, self-awareness!
Mila: "I've basically had a really great life so far, so I basically have no reason not to celebrate! I celebrate a new nail color! That's huge!"
Jenah: "I am beautiful and I'm smart. I know stuff. I read books. I can play beer pong. I party with guys."
Chantal: "I think I have something that no other girl has. I don't know what it is, but there's something. There's something."
When reading Cradle to Cradle, William McDonough and Michael Braungart's manifesto for eco-effective living, I went through multiple phases of emotion. For a book that spends 156 pages describing everything that's wrong with environmentalism - including both companies that avoid it altogether and those that practice yet still do harm - and then only 29 pages explaining how to do things right, it was still surprising how discouraged, angry and despondent I felt - toward Earth-screwing corporations, toward deceitfully Earth-saving practices that end up actually as Earth-screwing, and towards the authors themselves.
Since nothing makes a depressive feel better than sharing their negative feelings, let's walk through those phases together, shall we?
1) Alarmed Paranoia. I, like most sane, aware people nowadays, am trying to incorporate more environmentally-friendly practices into my daily life. (Without, you know, rearranging my life too much, of course. Hey, it's amazing I actually get to work on time as it is - I can't unplug every single appliance, you know?) So the first section of Cradle surprised me with its cynical take on modern, "effective" environmentalism, even on the first page.
First, that comfortable chair you are sitting on. Did you know that the fabric contains mutagenic materials, heavy metals, dangerous chemicals, and dyes that are often labeled hazardous by regulators - except when they are presented and sold to a customer? As you shift in your seat, particles of the fabric abrade and are taken up by your nose, mouuth, and lungs, hazardous materials and all.
If several billion people want natural-fiber blue jeans dyed with natural dyes, humanity will have to dedicate millions of acres to the cultivation of indigo and cotton plants just to satisfy the demand - acres that are needed to produce food.
Because it was not designed with recycling in mind, paper requires extensive bleaching and other chemical processes to make it blank for use again. The result is a mixture of chemicals, pulp, and in some cases toxic inks that are not really appropriate for handling and use...allowing an even higher proportion of particles to abrade into the air, where they...can irritate the nasal passages and lungs.
One study of household contaminants found that more than half of the households showed concentrations of seven toxic chemicals that are known to cause cancer in animals and are suspected to cause cancer in humans.
Allergies, asthma, and "sick building syndrome" are on the rise.
Some industrial chemicals produce a second effect, more insidious than causing stress: they weaken the immune system.
Legislation establishing mandatory standards for indoor air quality is practically nonexistent.
So you may have noticed that little pic/caption on the side of my blog about how I now write for UR Chicago, a local, monthly entertainment and culture magazine. I had done some freelance work for them in the past, interviewing Margaret Cho and Paddy Boom, among other articles. But now I am a full-fledged member of their writing staff. Hooray for jobs/side projects that actually relate to my college major whether directly or indirectly!
Let's back up. This past March, UR found new owners in the form of En Prise Entertainment, an event promotion and artist management company, and with them came a new editor-in-chief. Since then, in my humble opinion, UR has really popped. The covers alone are unique and fantastic. I mean, look at this cover for the current issue about food. Who does magazine covers like that? I don't see magazines looking like that anywhere else in the city...or, country even?
Plus, their food and wine coverage is always informative, they interview the most interesting personalities whether local or national, and they cover everything from sex toys to local do-gooders to Chicago's crazy nightlife. Most impressively, their awesomely expansive music section showcases the latest and greatest and have introduced me to some of my favorite new bands (hi, The Attorneys!). They even revamped the website and added a kickass podcast where you can listen to all the music that's featured in each issue. And just when you thought they might have been too cool for school, they even add a Dogs & Babies section. Hey, babies can be trendy, right? Word.
But just to completely round out the Chicago experience, they have also added an LGBT section. To my surprise and delight, they asked me to create the content every month. Wait, how did they know I was even gay to begin with? Oh, yeah. And, yeah. And...yeah. So anyway, each month is a new article and event listings written by yours truly.
Anyway, the section is called UR Out (I love the accusatory/informative statement behind the name; see title of this post) and it debuts in this month's issue. You know, Chicago's LGBT population (I prefer that to "community") may have the Windy City Times and a section in Time Out Chicago, among other publications, but with a city this big there's always room for more coverage, right? I just hope I do my fellow 'mos proud through fun, informative articles. I'm also expecting to learn a lot in the process, about Chicago's LGBT scene, about writing on deadlines and about how the local/national LGBT stories evolve over time, especially in these heightened, we've-come-so-far-but-have-so-far-to-go times.
P.S. If you have something going on you'd like to see listed in our event listings, or know about something I should check out, please email the details to urout@urchicago.com.
Also check out: UR Here.
And: U {Heart} Pierogis.
On party introductions:
When introducing people, try to avoid saying something that could be embarrassing like: "This is Barbara, she can't have children," or "Matt's on mood stabilizers," or "Lenny just got fired. He was the promotions manager at Nowells."
What's up, boyeeez? I'm writing this letter to discuss your adaptation of Cormac McCarthy's best-seller/Oprah pick/Pulitzer Prize winner that actually lives up to the hype about a father and son traveling through a barren, post-apocalyptic land. Yes, I know it's not news anymore that you're making this, and I know the book didn't just come out, so this may seem a little late. But from what I can tell you've barely gotten started, so you still have time to incorporate my ideas. And lest you get the wrong idea by my writing you a letter for basically my own amusement and assess your entire careers based on a few IMDB entries, let me just reassure you, I'm not crazy! Got it? Awesome!
First off: who the hell are you guys? Let's see...Joe Penhall, you adapted Ian McEwan's Enduring Love, which I thought got mixed-to-good reviews until I saw one comment thread on the IMDB message boards titled "Worst book-film adaption ever?" Ouch. That's got to hurt, even a little. But you have worked with Daniel Craig twice, which leads me to believe that you might have good taste and might even try to cast him as the nameless, ageless Father, but more on casting later.
Moving on to you, John Hillcoat, Mr. Director. Let's see, you directed an 80's documentary about INXS and something called Digital Hardcore Videos. Rock and porn? Seriously? But you also directed The Proposition starring Guy Pierce and some obscure 1996 movie with Rachel Griffiths, so that means...nothing. Or something. I'm not sure. I'm still focusing on the rock and porn 1-2 combo and what that means for this movie and, well, humanity in general.
But let's face it: you're both random choices. I mean, geez. At least the Coen brothers are adapting and directing the other upcoming McCarthy adaptation, No Country for Old Men.
In fact, it looks like Hollywood actually may not be screwing up NCfOM, with its stellar filmmakers and pedigreed cast. Of course, they did take seriously sexy actor Javier Bardem and make it look like he smooshed his face into a brick wall. That may be so we, the audience, don't focus on how sexy he is. But then, all I'll be thinking about is how I'm being deprived of his sexiness, which will bring up all of my deprivation issues I thought I had worked out in years of therapy like how this one time? My mom? Made a batch of Rice Krispie treats the first day of my sugar-free week for a 5th grade science project so I couldn't eat them and by the time Sunday came they were all eaten which just, like, symbolizes my whole childhood, ya know?!?!
Sorry. Digression. Still not crazy!
Anyway, let's talk about a few points, shall we? First, that Variety report said you guys were waiting for the right script and star. Seriously, don't even think about Tom Hanks/Da Vinci Code-ing this thing just for international interest. The Road is gritty and austere, reeking of flesh and disease. If you pop in some Shiny Pretty Movie Star, the whole world McCarthy created would become just a backdrop to SPMS' squinty, steel-jawed Acting. You can already hear the James Lipton's affected whisperings of "Oscar" and "credibility." Go with the right guy, no matter what. I'm not going to give you suggestions because, due to the character's lack of distinguishing external characteristics in the novel, you could go 50 different ways. Just don't screw it up, k?
(And, despite what I said before, Daniel Crag would probably not be a good choice as he looks like he's probably eaten a few people himself to get where he is in Hollywood. I'm not sure we'd ever doubt his survival skills).
Also, I swear on the career grave of Keshia Knight Pulliam, if you take fucking Dakota Fanning and put her in a pair of Osh Kosh B'Gosh overalls to pass her off as a precocious five-year-old(-ish) boy, I will find you both and I will break you. (Not crazy!) Again, go with the right boy. You'll probably have to pick an unknown (not too many famous male kiddies, luckily), so take your time and get it right. This kid will have to get through some pretty scary scenes - babies roasting on spits, cannibalism and maybe even (gasp!) unshaven women - so make sure he's tough enough. Maybe lock him in a room with Donald Trump for five hours and see how he holds up. That would drive even the hardest of us absolutely insane.
And finally, respect the source. That seems so simple and obvious, right? Why would someone love a book so much they wanted to turn it into a film only to then arrogantly think they can make the story better somehow? But it happens all the time. The Road is already cinematic, and the story is much like its characters: no extra fat or gristle on its lean frame. So don't go adding backstory, don't insert information because you think the audience is too stupid to keep up, don't spell it all out. So, I guess, don't just respect the source. Respect us, too.
OK, I think that may be it. See? Just a simple document of ideas. No reason to be scared. Unless you screw up this movie. Then you should be scared.
Sincerely and maybe just a tad crazy when it comes to one of the best books I've read all year,
Me
Also check out: Babies Are the New God.
And: Update: Oprah Rips Frey a New One.
