So, yeah...

I obviously haven't been blogging in a while. Over a month, in fact. Something clicked when I started thinking about what I want to do in 2008. I realized I want to write more, but not just for my blog. I want to write bigger and better, dedicating more of my energy to submitting to magazines. Maybe even working on a larger project that's both quieter and more demanding than blogging and magazines, writing a book. So I realized something had to give and that something, for now, is this blog.

After two and some years of always thinking/worrying about what my next post is going to be about, after dedicating entire weeknights or even weekends to put together a post that, quite frankly, not a lot of people read, I decided that I've done it and I'm done with it. I've tried it, I've had my ups and downs with it, I've written posts that I'm really proud of and posts that I'd go back and delete if I was that kind of blogger. Some posts even helped lead to a freelancing gig which has lead to a permanent staff position with a magazine I really like and respect and really, what more can you ask than that?

And you know what? So far it feels great. After sitting in front of a computer all day at my regular job, I can come home and not sit in front of a computer all night if I don't want to. I can cook! I can bake! I can watch TV! I can have dinner with friends! I can work out! So many not-really-exciting-but-
exciting-for-me-because-let's-face-it-I've-been-blogging
-for-over-two-years-and-I-have-low-standards-for-what-
I-consider-exciting activities!!!

Notice what wasn't on that list of activities I can indulge in now that I'm not blogging? Writing. The funny thing is with all this new time on my hands I haven't exactly gotten around to doing the things I gave up blogging for in the first place. But we're now, what, 3 weeks into the new year? I can enjoy myself for a while, right? Plus, have you seen the new American Gladiators? It's pretty awesome.

Some people started blogging a long time before I did and are still going. I think that's great. Some people didn't blog nearly as long as I did before giving it up. I laugh in their faces. And I'm not saying I'm giving it up for a good, anyway. Just for now. Who knows? Maybe after three months or six months or a year I'll be clamoring to bust out a bunch of new posts on the latest pop culture shenanigans. I still haven't finished blogging about making all 125 (127?) recipes in Giada De Laurentiis' Everyday Italian even though it's been, um, quite some time since I started that project. So maybe when that happens I'll have to blog about it for closure and, you know, evidence. (If a virtual text few people read actually counts as evidence that I finished a project.)

The point is: I may pick this back up again, I may not. Who knows what the future holds besides God and Kanye West? In the meantime, here are a few of the things that I'll be doing/reading/consuming/eating whilst not blogging:

Reading Project Rungay - The best way to keep up with Bravo's addictive reality competition and enjoy the witticisms, snark and dead-on fashion critiques of Tom & Lorenzo. Project Runway's 4th season may not be its best (Oh my dear Lord, Ricky has to leave), but this blog makes it a lot more enjoyable.

Reading Janet Xone - With Miss Jackson's latest album, Discipline, hitting shelves on February 26th, this is really the best way to know about all the news, performances, reviews and stories concerning Janet. And if you haven't checked out her latest video for "Feedback," click here. Watch it more than once - it grows on you, especially once the killer choreography kicks in.

Eating Aromatic Noodles with Lime-Peanut Sauce - Part of the reason I've put Giada's Italian cookbook aside is because I picked up fellow Food Network host Ellie Krieger's latest book, The Food You Crave. So far the Pumpkin Muffins, Energy Bars, Baked Onion Rings with Ranch Dip, Vanilla Hot Chocolate and Whole Wheat Pancakes with Strawberry Sauce have all been great and healthy (another New Year's resolution). I loooove me some Asian peanut sauces because I basically love anything with peanut butter, so I'm thinking this recipe from Ellie will make me silly happy.

Using my new Netflix account - I just started my subscription and finally watched 2005's An Inconvenient Truth. Next up is the new, Oscar-nominated documentary No End in Sight. I'm going to be so smrt, s-m-r-t!

Reading Spook: Science Tackles the Afterlife by Mary Roach - After reading Roach's Stiff: The Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, I've been dying (no pun intended, especially because it's not a very good pun) to read her follow-up. If she explores the soul with as much humor, eye-opening research and intelligence as she did corpses, then the wait will have been worth it.

Rooting for Atonement at the Oscars - I just saw it and am hoping it wins something big, even though I haven't seen There Will Be Blood yet. Seriously, this adaptation of the Ian McEwan novel (which I really liked) is gorgeous, well-acted and, to employ a cliché, heartbreaking. Knowing the general rule that the movie is never as good as the book, I was surprised to fall in love with this movie so much. Even though it drags in the middle (just like the book), I couldn't help but completely buy into the whole production. And it has James McAvoy looking adorable and delivering a fantastic performance? Done and done. Dear Striking Writers, The Oscars better take place so I can see Mr. McAvoy in a tux. Sincerely, Me.

Well, that's it for now. Enjoy.

Take care.

Goodbye?

Let It Snow, Man

When I was in the third grade, my class huddled into our classroom on a frosty December night. We were waiting to march single-file to the auditorium where we'd sing in our school's annual holiday concert. (Although I think back then they were still actually called Christmas Concerts.) To placate the rowdy group while we killed time, our teacher, Mrs. Handiwerk (I swear to Santa that was her real name) popped in a video.

I was expecting "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" or "Frosty the Snowman" - you know, something with bright animation, maybe some songs, maybe some characters rendered out of clay, the usual Christmas kids movie stuff. What came on was The Snowman, a 1982 animated movie based on the popular children's book by British author/illustrator Raymond Briggs. Instead of bright, sparkling colors, I saw muted, gorgeous animation renderd out of colored pencil. Instead of "gee whiz!"-style Important Lessons, here was a children's movie entirely dialogue-free, accompanied only by beautifully haunted music by Howard Blake. And the only musical number was the ethereal "Walking In the Air," sung by a young man (Peter Auty, a St. Paul's Cathedral choirboy) with such a clear, high voice, I couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl.

For the next twenty-seven minutes, I, along with a few of my classmates, was hypnotized. The more hyper members of our group couldn't be bothered by such a subdued movie, but the budding, brooding little drama queen in me was instantly attracted to the story of a snowman who comes to life and takes the boy who made him flying around the world. It's cute and whimsical and somewhat melancholy, all of which, to me, perfectly sums up Christmas.

I'm not sure how I feel about someone uploading the entire movie to YouTube. I'm not saying you need a flat-screen plasma TV to appreciate it - obviously that wasn't the technology we were dealing with in 1989. But even a small, quiet movie like this doesn't work so well when viewed in the little YouTube box. But the movie is so good and, unlike other obscure Christmas movies that grew a cult-like fanbase into mainstream popularity (A Christmas Story), still without a sizable American audience (even though it was nominated for the Best Animated Short Oscar in 1983), that I'll share it however I can. Whether it's on a computer monitor or in your living room (or both), you should ideally be wrapped in a blanket with a mug of hot cocoa. (Not hot chocolate. Hot cocoa.) If you're watching this at work, counting down the minutes until you can get away for the upcoming holidays, that's okay, too. (In fact, the movie might help.)

This might very well be my last post of the year, so I thought I'd wrap up my second year of blogging with one of my favorite movies...



Also check out: A Scrubbed-Up Charlie Brown Christmas (and a Christmassy Update!)
And: Sexy and Seasonal.

A Scrubbed-Up Charlie Brown Christmas (and a Christmassy Update!)

So this is actually a few years old, I guess, but I just found it. The cast of Scrubs dubbed over and edited that perennial holiday classic, A Charlie Brown Christmas. At first it just seems pretty straight-forward, but then it gets sassy, raunchy, and downright perversive. I especially like the new, smooth-talking Schroeder, the flashbacks to Christmas parties past and the crowd's one-liners upon seeing Charlie Brown's pathetic tree. ("Time to deck the halls with your incompetence.") It probably helps to actually know the characters on the sitcom, but I don't and I still enjoyed it.



*UPDATE - Speaking of Christmas traditions being tampered with, did you know that in 1994 they made a sequel to the modern-day classic, A Christmas Story? They called it My Summer Story (ugh) with Charles Grodin (eh) as the dad, Mary Steenburgen (love!) as the mom and Kieran Culkin (wasn't he, like, 3 years old in 1994?) as Ralphie. Like A Christmas Story, this one is based on short stories by Jean Shepard. Unlike A Christmas Story, this one has not snowballed from obscure, cultish hit into mainstream popularity.

Wow, Hollywood, yet another reason to hate you.

Also check out: Sexy and Seasonal.
And: Multimedia Love.

Eat, Pray, Hype

"I haven't been this excited since Bono was here."

And so began Oprah's Eat, Pray, Love-fest. Friday's episode was all about Elizabeth Gilbert's memoir detailing her travels to Italy, India and Indonesia to rediscover herself. I have to say, as a writer, hearing anyone get that excited over an author is pretty exciting. Hearing it from Oprah freakin' Winfrey, who has talked to every author from Cormac McCarthy to Jane Hamilton, is pretty impressive.

Sure, Oprah gets excited for just about anything. (Ladies and gentlemen, today we're talking about hummuuuuuuuuus!!!) There's a fine line between enthusiastic and hyperbolic. Her fans see the former, her critics the latter. When talking about a relatively spiritual memoir like Gilbert's, it's hard to walk that line (it's somewhere between the pasta and the preciousness). But combining the overblown with the ethereal seems like an Oprah specialty, as opposed to, say, Tyra Banks, who eats overblown for breakfast. (Now with more fiber!)

So it was great to see Oprah dedicate a whole hour to an author not because Eat, Pay, Love is her new Book Club choice (that would be Gabriel Garcia Marquez's Love in the Time of Cholera) but because she was just so damn excited to talk about it. (Even if, strangely, they made no mention that it's being developed as a movie starring Julia Roberts.)

According to Oprah, "Women have been carrying it everywhere. I've seen it on planes, buses and trains." Buses? Yeah, I think I saw Oprah on the 49 Western yesterday with her Trader Joe's bags. But the book has already been incredibly successful. However, a lot of the reviews, even positive ones, were hesitant to rave. The New York Times observed how charming Gilbert's prose is while rightfully criticizing how easily her problems tend to get fixed (she asked the universe for a divorce and - poof! - her husband, until then stubborn, signed the papers). And Slate's Katie Roiphe couldn't rave about it before going on and on about how horrible the book sounds and how, of course, she would normally never read a book like that.

That, most likely I presume, being Chick Lit. The label is ridiculous in this case. Yes, it's a woman's memoir, and yes, there's some cutesy descriptions about how eating pizza is really empowering! (Which I happen to totally agree with.) But Gilbert is an incredibly charming, qualified writer, having been nominated for three National Magazine Awards, the PEN/Hemingway Award, the National Book Award and National Book Critic's Circle Award. If a man wrote this book, this whole paragraph wouldn't be necessary. God forbid a female author write something both spiritual and funny, profound and cute.

So, luckily, she was perfectly open, modest and down-to-earth with Oprah about her journey, her epiphanies and her success. She's the kind of person who can throw out phrases like "word salad" without coming off flaky and can discuss a journey devoted entirely to making herself feel better without sounding guilty or entitled. (For an example of how she explains - nay, make that celebrates, and kind of awesomely - her story's inherent selfishness, check out the E,P,L F.A.Q.)

One mistake I think Gilbert and Oprah both seemed to make was confusing someone relating to the book with someone experiencing the exact same thing Gilbert did. When talking about her late-night breakdowns in her bathroom, Gilbert looked at the audience and said, "Who among us has not met our bathroom floor tiles at 3 a.m.?" Um, me? I read your book and haven't met my tiles at 3 a.m. Do I count? Oh, wait, are we also including being drunk? No? Nevermind then.

But Gilbert flat-out admits that she didn't write this book for anyone else, and that's maybe the most "rock star" (Oprah's words) thing about her. Unlike so many reviews about the book and interviews with Gilbert, this was one whole hour without the author having to justify, defend or apologize for her lucky circumstances (such as affording the travel thanks to her publisher's advance). She might not be the literary equivalent of Bono. (Who is, then? Dave Eggars? Chuck Palahniuk?) She's not even a rock star. She's a really good writer. And that's just as exciting.

(Thanks to Oprah.com for the pics.)

Also check out: Cradle to Tears.
And: Update: Oprah Rips Frey a New One.

Curse you, Hung!

Since you are both a) the newly crowned Season Three winner of Top Chef and b) not from Chicago, you ruined the potential trinity of Chicago reality show winners. You narrowly defeated fellow Chicagoan Dale, who would have joined recent America's Next Top Model winner Jaslene (TM) (that's right, I added the TM because if you check out her MySpace profile you'll see that she trademarked her name) and Bravo sister show Top Design winner Matt Lorenz to become the third Chicago reality competition winner in a row. Now our all-powerful, world-crushing triumvirate will never be. And it's all because of two things: curry and cake.

You see, in last night's Top Chef finale, Dale and Hung were duking it out with Casey for the highly-esteemed title and prize money. Casey unfortunately buckled under all that altitude. (Seriously, Casey, you knew the finale was going to take place in Aspen, you know altitude affects cooking times and temperatures, do your research!) So, with four dishes per contestant to choose from, the judges decided that Hung and Dale each had two of the best dishes.

That's where the debate kicked in. Hung kind of missed with his first dish, which lacked acidity, and then underwhelmed again with his dessert, a clichéd chocolate lava cake that in no way fit in with the rest of his impressive Asian menu. Dale, on the other hand, served up a curried lobster dish with unforgivably heavy gnocchi and way too much curry. While Hung's cake was boring, at least it was edible. So the it came down to, is it better for a chef to make a safe choice that doesn't impress but doesn't repel, or should a Top Chef serve up a bold, risky dish even if it goes down in flames?

Earlier in the season, when Casey was winning multiple challenges in a row, it seemed like the finale would be between her soulful cuisine and Hung's technically-perfect food. We already had the Heart & Soul vs. Scientific Precision debate in Season Two, where Ilan's soulful heartiness (or is it hearty soulfulness?) flambéed Marcel's steely glares and fluffy foams. So I'm glad this season's finale was a little different. Would underdog Dale's rollercoaster dinner of robust highs and inedible lows trump front-runner Hung's smooth, analytical consistency?

Well, we know where the judges stand on this issue. You could frame it as, who's restaurant would you rather eat at? Hung's, where everything is perfect if sometimes safe and unsurprising? Or Dale's, where you might get a flawless, creative dish or one so inedible you have to send it back?

It's a trick question. Hung would probably never serve that chocolate lava cake at a restaurant. He's not a baker, he just memorized one cake recipe to pull out of his hat should the need arise. And Dale would never really serve the lobster dish, as chefs don't whip up dishes on the fly and send them out without tasting and testing, going through draft after draft until they get it right.

I'm sure a lot of people will use this finale as evidence that Casey only got as far as she did because Bravo wanted to keep around a cute woman for ratings (which makes no sense because, hi, Bravo is gayer than Logo and here! making out to Fall Out Boy). I can't believe how many comments I've seen on message boards claiming that the only reason she survived was because she's like Jennifer Aniston with bigger boobs, even though we saw episode after episode with Casey deservedly winning. And I also can't understand people bemoaning Hung's win just because he's arrogant and unlikable. To paraphrase ANTM's ever-brilliant, philosophical Jade, this isn't Top Best Friend. In the end, I could understand the decision going either way. As Dale would say, it was "100% 50/50."

The truly disappointing part isn't that Chicago doesn't get one more cubic zirconium jewel in its plastic reality-show crown. It's that, with Top Chef now over, I won't be able to use my brilliant joke that I have yet been able to work into converations:

Padma Lakshmi?

I like her, too.

Also check out: Deep Thoughts From America's Next Top Model, part 6.
And: Top Chef Check-In.

Deep Thoughts from America's Next Top Model, part 5

With so many to choose from in this week's Cycle 9 premiere, where to begin with ANTM's contributions to philosophical quandries?

On self-contradiction!

Sylvia: "I'm not going to give this up. I'm going to give it one last shot."

On professionalism!

Janet: "I guess you've seen one butt, you've seen them all."

On kissing ass!

Tyra: "Any girl that gives me a simulated kitty cat wax is fine by me."

On violence versus, um, violence?...!

Marvita: "I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to slap the hell out of her."

And, finally, this show's raison d'etre, self-awareness!

Mila: "I've basically had a really great life so far, so I basically have no reason not to celebrate! I celebrate a new nail color! That's huge!"

Jenah: "I am beautiful and I'm smart. I know stuff. I read books. I can play beer pong. I party with guys."

Chantal: "I think I have something that no other girl has. I don't know what it is, but there's something. There's something."

Top Chef Check-In

OK, so we're day 4,189 into Top Chef's six-year-long Season Three. How's everyone holding up? Stocked with plenty of water and truffle butter? Do we need to pass around the mushroom risotto for sustenance?

Seriously, this season started, what, a couple months ago? And there's still Eight. Chefs. Left. For real? Bravo is milking this show for all they can. Not only was there a useless mini-reunion halfway through the season (hosted by that insufferable Bravo producer Andy Cohen), but this past week the judges (spoiler alert!) didn't even eliminate anyone! The two teams of four chefs had 24 hours to open a mock restaurant. They had to create a full menu, shop for all the interior decorations, train an apparently incompetent waitstaff in thirty minutes and then serve thirty people. When both teams - unsurprisingly - failed, no one was sent home! Since they all sucked, all the losers cancelled each other out and everyone ended up being, in a way, winners, since they could stay another week. Got that? Hugs all around!

It's not that I'm not enjoying the show. I am. I've been a little hesitant about Top Chef in the past, but Salon's Heather Havrilesky changed my mind:

I love the guessing game...Top Chef is sort of one part cooking competition, one part unfolding mystery: You develop your theories about which dish tastes the best, but you don't really know that it's lacking oil or acid or is unevenly salted until the judges have their say.

Okay, I can go along with that. Now I'm fully, unconditionally addicted and it's mostly due to the show itself. The challenges are interesting, most of the chefs seem genuinely talented and it's hard to guess who's getting kicked out of the kitchen each week as past successes don't necessarily guarantee anything.

But TC's charms are starting to wear thin. Instead of decreasing in number, these chefs seem to be multiplying every week. The judges should be eliminating two, three, four chefs at a time by this point. "Hung - you're a big spaz! You're gone! CJ - you're too tall! You're gone! Sara, no, you, the other Sara - you haven't won one challenge yet! You're gone!" See how easy that was, Padma?

Here's how Bravo could punch this show up:

1) Show Tre in sleeveless shirts more. When Tre stripped down to a tank top for the challenge in which they had to feed a late-night club crowd, even he knew that the drunks were lining up to check out his guns, not the raw oysters. With the cute-girl quotient rapidly reducing (only the beautiful Casey remains as a specimen of poreless womanhood), Bravo should take advantage of the cute boys left: the built, soft-spoken Tre, 6'8" former-volleyball-player CJ and mohawked, former-gymnast Dale. Forget the chef jackets as kitchen uniform - bring on the requisite tank tops.

2) Let us actually get to know the contestants. At the beginning of one episode, we see Casey and Lea talking over breakfast. Then, when Lea is eliminated later, Casey has a mini-breakdown because they're apparently best friends. Same thing with Dale and Sara - as soon as we found out they were BFFs, Sara is sent packing. I'm all for a Bravo show focusing more on the creative challenges and less on personal drama ({cough}Project Runway{cough}) but we still need to get to know the chefs if we're going to care about them.

3) The judges should...I don't know...make sense, maybe? The biggest problem with this show - what the hell are they talking about half the time? First Tom Colicchio complains that the chefs aren't being creative enough when they have to update a classic American comfort food. Then they criticize Sara's updated Chicken a la King for not resembling Chicken a la King closely enough. Say wha? Could they complain even more, please? When served pineapple sorbet, two of them literally cried "It's so cooooold!" In fact, these judges complain more than any other judging team from any other reality show. I'm waiting for critiques like "your broth was too brothy." Or "your saffron sauce didn't match my shoes." Or "your left earlobe looked slightly asymmetrical when you brought out your dish."

And please...no more never-ending plugs for overrated, largely disregarded food bloggers, please.

Minor details, overall, however. Bravo has a good thing going and they know it. Which is why I'll still be sitting on my couch at the season finale, eight years older, with a beard as big as Hung's ego, surrounded by discarded fennel bulbs and empty mascarpone tubs, crossing my fingers as the next Top Chef is announced.

Also check out: Top Project Runway Rip-Off.
And: Please Pack Your Breasts and Leave.

Just When You Thought It was Safe to Watch Daytime Television

Drew Carey will be hosting The Price is Right. According to reports, he reveals it tonight on The Late Show with David Letterman.

I guess it makes sense. I mean, the whole time Carey hosted Whose Line is it Anyway?, he was the least interesting, least funny person on the show. And let's face it, it's not like Bob Barker really had a lot to do other than charm midwestern Claymates (please click on that link. Oh, pretty please.) and hold that weird lollipop microphone.

This makes much more sense than someone like Rosie O'Donnell for a host. Rosie's fiesty, sarcastic humor (her take on health-store customers: "you know the type: a lot of hair, not a lot of deodorant") would be squelched on a sanitized, wholesome show like TPiR. Just ask fans of old-school Ellen Degeneres. Sure, she's cute and friendly and funny on her daytime talk show, but Ellen really shines during her cable stand-up specials where her I'm-just-the-lesbian-next-door act drops and a more caustic, bawdy Ellen emerges.

Drew may have a darker, more outgoing side to him in his stand-up routines. But on his eponymous sitcom and WLiiA?, he was always upstaged by his funnier sidekicks like Diedrich Bader and Ryan Stiles. In fact, that seems to be Drew's actual talent, and it shouldn't be disregarded: surrounding himself, and sharing the spotlight, with skilled comedians who otherwise might not get noticed for their talents. On his own, however, he is perfectly capable of reading cue cards and smiling and stuff.

So The Price is Right fans get a perfectly pleasant host and prime-time television is guaranteed one more overpaid, bland comedian is too busy to star in another generic sitcom. (Why couldn't they create another game show and hire Charlie Sheen and Kevin James?) I should knock on wood, just to make sure.

Also check out: Martha Stewart: You Know You Love Her.
And: Obsessing Over Food I Never Eat with Giada de Laurentiis.

Top Project Runway Rip-Off

With Top Chef, Top Design and last night's debut of Shear Genius, it seems that Bravo is committed to landscaping their entire schedule with the creative-arts-reality-contest "brand" they created with Project Runway. Take twelve campy, dramatic creative people, stuff them in a pressure cooker situation with multiple challenges per episode and then offer them up to awkward hosts and bitchy judges. The diminished returns are obvious. As evidence of how much Bravo has diluted their own brand: Heidi Klum begat Padma Lakshmi who begat Todd Oldham who begat...Jaclyn Smith?

The differences become especially obvious during the best part of each show - the judging process. Top Design is as much about a visual art form as PR. Sure, you might not get to walk in the space and really analyze the details, but for the most part you're experiencing what the judges experience. The vital difference from PR's judging process, however, is that rooms don't move. Those ugly, cavernous booths the contestants paint windows on just sit there. Each designer awkwardly stands at the entrance while the judges silently walk around their creation before moving on to the next one. The whole process is strangely quiet and restrained.

At first I was underwhelmed by TD. Even after a couple episodes, not one contestant had produced a room provoking a response beyond "eh, it's fine." Luckily, Bravo snagged at least 6 genuinely talented designers that began to produce much work as the show went on. And I was happy to see the sophisticated Matt walk away with the contest. He was always professional and produced consistently chic rooms.

(As a side note, since the show is called Top Design and not Top Designer, shouldn't that mean Matt's collection of chairs and sofas walk away with the prize money? And when did Todd Oldham get so orange and sing-songy? He's like a flirty carrot. Even with his exhaustive quick fixes for the contestants, he was much more charming on his own HGTV show.)

What frustrates me about Top Chef is that you can't participate in the judging process the way you can with PR. You hear about the ingredients the contestants are throwing together, you watch them sweat over a stove with a blow torch or massive chef's knife, and you can admire, or mock, the presentation. But you can't actually taste the final product. You have to take the judges' word on whether or not they achieve culinary perfection.

As for Shear Genius...well, let's just say that so far, the best part about it is that it's theme song is nowhere nearly as ear-bleedingly bad as Top Design's. It's as if the composer of TD's wants everyone to hate music as much as they do.

It's not the other show's fault. They just don't fit the medium of television contests the way PR does. Dinner plates and 12'x12' rooms aren't revealed by sexy models hopping and spinning and baring ass. I'm not saying they should, but it would be fun to see a starving model hungrily salivating over the hunk of beef she's parading around, and I don't just mean tall, scruffy TC contestant Sam Talbot (pictured above right). And I have a feeling SG's models might regret appearing on the show once they realize they have to stand around with treasure chest "hair art" on their heads.

Whether it's a plate of dehydrated veal cheeks, plywood walls smothered in Tuscan Sunrise paint, or a mannequin head sporting yet another set of asymetrical bangs, not one of these shows produces the same kinetic sexiness of PR's runway shows. And considering PR just started auditions for Season Four, it's going to be a while before the original returns.

(Thanks to Chicagoist and New York for the pics.)

Also check out: Pack Your Breasts and Leave.
And: Project Runway Sashays Into My Heart.
And: Todd Oldham: Everyone's New Best Friend.

Maybe It's Time for The Change

I just spent my whole night writing about Project Runway versus Top Chef versus Top Design and then the new Beta Blogger made my internet connection unexpectedly quit YET AGAIN. By now you'd think I'd remember to save my posts as drafts before digging around my archives for links to previous posts, but no, that would be too smart and logical.

It's not like I'm the only person to use Safari so why, oh why, must Blogger always be so incompatible with it? Maybe I should switch to Typepad. Do any Safari-users out there have any opinions or experience to share about Typepad?

In the meantime, I'm going to go write a big, long, angry letter to Blogger and then not send it. Because that's so productive.

To Watch or Not to Watch, There Is No Question

How much do I love Slings & Arrows? Or, better put, is there a better show on TV than Slings & Arrows? I’m going to say no, and not just because I don’t actually have cable and therefore have limited access to the bounty that is network television. (Sorry, Battlestar Gallactica, it was never meant to be.)

(Warning: spoilers ahead)

Slings & Arrows, a Canadian comedy currently in its third season on the Sundance Channel, follows the action behind the scenes of the fictional New Burbage Shakespearean Festival (New York magazine called it "Shakespeare in Love meets Topsy-Turvy). Artistic director Oliver Welles (Stephen Ouimette), once the director of critically acclaimed, provocative theater, is staging a gorgeous yet lazy production of Midsummer’s Night Dream. While he’s making sure the fake goats bleat on cue, temperamental star Ellen (Martha Burns) interrupts rehearsals to discuss problematic blocking and general manager Richard (co-writer Mark McKinney) disrupts everything to make sure Oliver is meeting every need of the corporate sponsors. The pressures of running the festival, with its media coverage and long, lustrous history, drive Oliver to drink so much that he fatally stumbles in front of an oncoming truck the very same night the show opens.

Enter Geoffrey Tenant (Paul Gross, writer, director and actor in TV's Due South, Brian in the first Tales of the City miniseries and Burns' real-life husband). Passionate, histrionic, a little loony and strangely sexy, this extremely anti-corporate actor/director is failing to keep his own Shakespeare theater company afloat when the New Burbage calls on him to temporarily replace Oliver. New Burbage is where Geoffrey famously triumphed seven years prior as Hamlet opposite Ellen’s Ophelia, yet also where he then suffered a nervous breakdown only three performances into the production.

After begrudgingly accepting the offer, Paul meets the crew: neurotic assistant Anna (Susan Coyne), devious board member yet ironically named Holly Day (Jennifer Irwin), kooky actress Claire (Sabrina Grdevich) and her fresh-faced understudy Kate (a pre-Mean Girls Rachel McAdams), among others.

Like Shakespear in Love, the more you know about Shakespeare, the more you'll get out of the show. But I'm not a big Shakespeare expert and there's still a lot to enjoy. Geoffrey and Ellen's relationship is much deeper than just being co-actors, and their romantic history is further complicated by their director and shoulder to cry on, Oliver. Since the love of her life abandoned her on the stage, Ellen enjoys the company of local young boytoys, whether a bartender or delivery guy. How refreshing it is to have a non-ingenue leading lady enjoy her sexuality without flaunting or apologizing for it. Oh, and since Oliver can't be with them in person anymore, he decides to haunt Geoffrey, causing him to yell "Shut! UP!" during a conversation or televised interview.

Meanwhile, Kate is striking sparks with the Burbage's new Hamlet, Hollywood action star Jack Crew (Luke Kirby). I haven't seen a single Rachel McAdams movie yet, but she is so adorable here I just want to put her in my pocket and buy her lots of ponies. No wonder people call her the next Julia Roberts, however unprophetic that may be.

Also, Holly begins a kinky power dynamic with weak, "spindly" Richard, cruelly manipulating things so he can become the new chairman of the board of directors. Even though he might be the one ascending in power, slimy Holly clearly calls all the shots both in and out of the bedroom. In fact, Holly is so disgustly evil, with her perky smirks, affirmation tapes ("You are the center of the universe. You are God."), and disdain for anything and anyone in the way of her ambitions, you pretty much love to hate her. All of which is why Irwin is such a good actress.

This doesn't even scratch the surface of the large cast, which also includes an actor-hating stagehand and the two Irish actors who behave as less cranky versions of Statler and Waldorf. The show obviously has a large budget which I guess is possible with short, six-episode seasons.

The great thing about Slings & Arrows is that whethor or not you love Shakespeare or even theater itself, you can't help but be moved by the actors' and directors' love for what they do. They're not just crazy and high-strung just because they're artists, they're crazy and high-strung because they believe in the power Hamlet can wield over an audience. Their desperation is born not just out of vanity (note the "just") but because they sincerely want their screwy theater company to succeed! They live for the that thrilling, fleeting moment when the actors on stage forget they're on stage and just live it. Even if the show contaminates their personal lives or they have no budget for costumes or sets or the critics belittle them, these people clearly have no choice. They must do what they're doing. The hilarious side-effects are our benefit.

Please Pack Your Breasts and Leave

Wow. A Bravo reality show is actually getting rid of its robotic, flat-voiced hostess in favor of someone with actual television experience.

No, it's not Heidi Klum, who has actually gotten more comfortable killing the dreams of amateur fashion designers on the addictive Project Runway (it helps that she's, you know, one of the producers).

Instead, it's little Katie Lee Joel, Billy Joel's 12-I-mean-25-year-old host of the first season of Top Chef, a reality show from PR's producers about chefs battling to be...well, I guess the title is fairly Snakes On a Plane-esque in its self-explanation.

Maybe "robotic" is a tad harsh. Let's just go with "telegenically-challenged." But while Katie Lee apparently does have some background in food (Bravo never really explained what they meant when they described her as a "food writer" - I just assumed she knew how to write a grocery list), she couldn't, um, talk about food very comfortably. In fact, she couldn't do anything comfortably in front of the cameras, always dropping anchor-like duds of non-wisdom while judges Tom Colicchio and Gail Simmons could actually chew and think at the same time.

Instead, Bravo has made a ridiculously great decision in hiring Padma Lakshmi. A drop-dead gorgeous Indian woman (she makes Catherine Zeta-Jones look like butt) who has cooking and television experience (she hosted a much-missed show on the Food Network), Lakshi has been out of the public eye for quite some time. Oh, she also happens to be married to Salman Rushdie.

Top Chef is still seriously flawed. Unlike PR, where all you have to do is look at the final designs to judge them, on TC you can only look at the food the contestants prepare, and while presentation counts, you still have no idea how good the food actually is until the judges tell you. And the prizes aren't all that thrilling. I think they get a stove and, like, a magazine article or something.

But with Padma to guide us with her seductively intellectual presence (who will hopefully have a better signature send-off then "pack your knives and leave"), TC's second season could be approaching PR's crack-like addiction.

Also check out: Hooray for Jay.
And: Obsessing Over Food I Never Eat, with Giada de Laurentiis.

I'm So Excited...And I Just Can't Hide It...

Wednesday, July 12th, people!



But in case you can't wait that long until the Season 3 premiere of Project Runway, here are a few stories to hold you over:

The Boston Herald has an interview with host Heidi Klum on what to expect for the new season. I love when she says, "Our show is not about grinding up worms and eating them or seeing how long they can last doing some crazy stunt." Boo-ya! Take that, Fear Factor! Also, did you know Heidi hosts the German version of America's Next Top Model?

The L.A. Times has a "Life after PR" article, including a "Where are They Now?" slide show that features strangely innacurate facts about the show but is interesting nonetheless.

Over at MSNBC, Andy Denhart, who writes for reality blurred, wonders if Bravo is pushing too much of a good thing by giving us a new season so quickly after season 2 ended.

On the blog front, for all the latest PR news, there's the exhaustive Blogging Project Runway, which takes their love of the show and spreads it to every nook and cranny of this country. If you're looking for something a little more subversive, then head over to FourFour every week for Rich's hilarious, un-equalled re-caps. You can see what I mean by pouring through his Season 2 archives here. And, if you're so inclined, you can check out my own article about the show here.

Finally, the Chicago Tribune has a great, dishy interview with PR mentor Tim Gunn. It's kind of long but worth the time. He's so professional on the show - who knew he could be such a gossip queen? Not only does he trash Season 2 champ Chloe's winning collection, he had this to say about Season 2 runner-up and fan favorite Dan: "My darling little Dan has become a terrible diva. And it’s really unattractive. … He’s been offered several jobs. He’s turned down everything. They’re not good enough for him.” Ouch. Of course, by passing up Michael Kors' job offer, Dan has time for his own blog.

Hopefully, this can satisfy any PR fix you might have until the new season begins. Make it work!

Oy Ve: Emmy Edition

The Emmy nominations were announced. Where to begin? So the Emmys decided to change their voting process this year in what has now become known as the "Lauren Graham Rule," where, supposedly, fringe shows like Gilmore Girls and Everybody Hates Chris would get their deserved nominations next to old stand-bys like West Wing.

So did it work? Well...kind of. Not exactly. A little bit, just not in the right ways. Sort of, if "sort of" means "not so much."

Surprises did abound, as last year's winners for Best Drama and Best Comedy (Lost and Desperate Housewives, respectively) got almost completely shut out. Many a cancelled show snuck in (Arrested Development, Six Feet Under, The Comeback), as did many lame-ass shows still on the air (Two and a Half Men, anyone?). Get ready to scratch your heads and pop your eyes in bewilderment:

- Kevin James in The King of Queens and Charlie Sheen from TaaHM in the Best Comedic Actor category but no Jason Lee from My Name is Earl or Jason Bateman from Arrested Development? Charlie Sheen's character is named Charlie Harper...he's so bad that he's not even trusted to learn a different name. What does that tell you? At least Steve Carrell is in there.

- The Best Comedic Actress category might be one of the worst line-ups in recent history. Sure, there's Lisa Kudrow, but Debra Messing? She's always been the weak link of Will & Grace (sometimes due to receiving the weakest writing, but still...) and this past season was definitely not one of her best. Julia Louis-Dreyfus? Stockard Channing? Okay, so they're definitely surprises, which I guess is what the Emmys are going for this year, but I'm just not buying that either of these two talented actresses deserve to be here. (More on who should be later...)

- Like I was saying...hooray for Lisa Kudrow fighting her way into the Best Comedic Actress category for her one-season, cancelled HBO show The Comeback! Her Valerie Cherish was an awesome parody of Hollywood actresses: tacky, vain, clueless, shallow-disguised-as-deep, etc. You can bet I'd be at one of her Chocolate Fountain parties, savoring every drop of chocolate AND brittle neuroses. Too bad the show itself was...eh.

- Other surprisingly good choices: Peter Krause and Frances Conroy for Six Feet Under (but I'm still upset that Michael C. Hall and Lauren Ambrose were not only overlooked this year, but neither of them have ever won. Ridiculous, I tell you!), Denis Leary for Rescue Me, Jean Smart as the First Lady on 24, Elizabeth Perkins on Weeds, and Project Runway nominated in the Best Reality Competition category.

- Talk about desperate housewives. You can bet they'll be clawing over each other and chomping through season three's scenery like it is zero-calorie Cinnabuns to make sure they make the cut next year. I'm glad the over-praised Teri Hatcher is finally absent (again, I like her, but a Golden Globe and a SAG?) and, I don't care how hot she is, Eva Longoria doesn't deserve to be there in the first place. But Marcia Cross has been overlooked since her days on Melrose Place (Emmy worthy, I kid you not), and it's a shame to see her ignored yet again when she rose above season two's overall mediocrity. And how can Felicity Huffman go from last year's Best Comedic Actress to not even worthy of a nomination? And if all four ladies are absent, how could they not have found room to nominate the wonderfully disheveled Mary-Louise Parker on Weeds or Tichina Arnold, the hilarious mother on Everybody Hates Chris?

- While their respective shows were both nominated, it's interesting that Stephen Colbert was nominated for Outstanding Individual Performance In A Variety Or Music Program but Jon Stewart wasn't. Although, in his defense, Colbert's is much more of a performance than Stewart's. I'm just saying...it's interesting...

- How can House be nominated but not its lead actor, Hugh Laurie? How can Scrubs potentially be the best comedy of the year and yet receive no other major nominations at all, not even for the writing? How can Edie Falco on The Sopranos be overlooked when she is simply one of the best dramatic actresses on television right now? I'm a Geena Davis fan, but no way did she deserve to make it in over Falco.

- Oh, and that "Lauren Graham Rule"? Yeah, she didn't maket the cut. Gilmore Girls didn't at all, actually. In fact, most shows from the WB and UPN were pretty much overlooked. So much for that new voting system.

Oh. Wait a minute. What's that? What's that on page 20 of the PDF list of nominees? Is that...? Why, yes, I think it is...

- Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D-List is nominated for Best Reality Show! Oh, forget any negative thing I ever said about this year's Emmy voters. They're geniuses, I tell you. Mensa members, all of them. God bless 'em.

Deep Thoughts from "America's Next Top Model," part 4

Nnenna on her male model co-star: "It helps when both models are attractive. He was attractive and I think I'm attractive so I think that helps."

Modelling 101 with the ever-so-humble Nnenna.

Check out other deep thoughts here!

America's Previous Barely-Employable Model

(Blogger's Update: This piece was chosen as an Editor's Pick of the Week March 8-14 at Blogcritics. I'm flattered. Thanks, editors!)

Yes, folks, it's that time of year again. The time when short, thin girls get to pretend they're tall, skinny "models in training," the time when Tyra Banks decides to suck up yet another hour of television, the time when I make fun of her UPN reality show while also unable to turn away whenever it's on.

So as Cycle 6 approaches (why are they called "cycles" anyway? All I associate with that is menstrual cycles...not exactly glamorous fashion), let's take a look back at America's Next Top Model's long history of unquantifiable contributions to American culture. And by "unquantifiable contributions to American culture," I mean "shoving naive, unprepared young women out into the cold, sharp jaws of the fashion world, never to be heard from again." There are five previous winners, each with their own special combination of blind ambition and poreless skin.

1) Adrienne Curry, Cycle 1 - "Crazy Model." Sure, as she climbed her way to the top of the cycle one heap, Adrienne came off more "white-trash tomboy" than actually crazy. Rather than, you know, do some modelling, Adrienne signed up for VH1's The Surreal Life, where her true, mentally unhinged nature was revealed. She latched hoof and claw on to Christopher Knight (a.k.a. "Peter Brady"), a man 25 years her senior, despite his constant protests (a restraining order wouldn't have stopped her). Whatever she did, it worked, and Adrienne undoubtedly made "Momma" Tyra even more proud when she decided to let VH1 document their romance on My Fair Brady. Selling her first-born child to the gods of VH1 in exchange for more cash, Adrianne will soon fart her way through another season of the show where they document their wedding plans. Keeping her modelling dream alive, you can currently see her in the February 2006 Playboy (seriously).

2) Yoanna House, Cycle 2 - "Model Model." Tall, skinny, with a disgustingly symmetrical face, Yoanna is actually the most "model" out of any winner so far. She has also kicked off the trend of throwing a bunch of vowels together and calling it a name (I'm waiting for a future cycle to give us "Oaeiouia" or something. You know it's going to happen). Yoanna was actually enjoying herself as an up-and-coming, successful catwalk model before signing on as a host for the Style Network, thereby increasing her exposure to all of the two people who watch that channel (one being Boy George, the other being Star Jones' husband, together, in pajamas). You can currently see her on the "Style Network" (if that is indeed a real network).

3) Eva Pigford, Cycle 3 - "Mini-Model." Girl is short. At 5'7", she's the shortest winner of the show yet (although no shorter than Kate Moss...if you really believe Eva is actually 5'7"). With a nose described as "piggish" and an attitude to match (she was nicknamed "Eva the Diva"), Eva strutted her way through the third season...oh, sorry, the third cycle...oh, fuck it, the third season...until she was the last one standing. Maybe Tyra couldn't see her from behind her judges' table during eliminations, and Eva just kept showing up until all the other girls had been kicked out. She did guest star on the cancelled UPN Taye Diggs drama, Kevin Hill. You can currently see her in your front pocket.

4) Naima Mora, Cycle 4 - "Coma Model." OK, during season four, I was a full-out fan of Naima. Sure, she was quiet, but she was spunky and weird and said things that were just the right combination of dorky and unironic (she styled her hair into a mohawk to "center" herself) that I couldn't help but root for her. Since she won, she appeared on Tyra Banks' talk show to discuss problems she had with her twin sister (as if being in the shadow of a Top Model wasn't bad enough for her sister. Geez, real nice, Naima) and...not much else. She did do some commercials that were only aired during Top Model where she signed autographs for her fans in...Walgreens. You can currently see her on reruns of America's Next Top Model.

5) Nicole Linkletter, Cycle 5 - "Dairy Queen Model." Looking and acting like the influence for Parker Posey's character in Waiting for Guffman, Nicole might be the prettiest Miss Grand Forks, ND that ever sat on a parade float. After being picked as the winner, Tyra declared that Nicole was chosen because she was "pure model," which brings into question what the hell they were looking for the previous seasons. Supporting Tyra's claim, Nicole will alledgedly be featured in an upcoming couture spread in Elle. Holy crap! That's a real modelling gig! You can currently see her at the local community college where she's learning to spell the word "couture."

Who will be the winner of Cycle 6? Does it even matter? Don't we watch for the catfights, the tears, and the bitchy confessionals? (Note to contestants: you're being recorded.) If we want to watch them actually model, we can just sneak into the V.I.P.-only crowd at the Walmart Fashion Show. Yes, I'm dead serious. Not only does Walmart have a fashion show, it was populated by the "models" from the first four seasons. Momma Tyra must be proud.

Note to Academy - We Get It: You're Not Racist

What does it say that the Oscars ended a little over an hour ago and I'm already over them? And I actually liked a lot of the movies that were nominated this year. A few things we can learn from tonight's ceremony:

In: Anti-Racism, Rap, Reese Witherspoon
Five-Minutes Ago: Anti-Homophobia, Country, Joaquin Phoenix
Out: Everything that didn't win. Sorry, suckas.

As for the two surprises of the evening:

Best Picture: Crash - A Very Important Movie, with a Very Important Message. The Academy loves to promote itself (how many times can they encourage people not to bother with DVD's? Message: TV is too small and pedestrian for the Big Ideas we promote with movies). Awarding either Brokeback Mountain or Crash would assure the Academy that they're socially relevant, but the anti-racism message in Crash is a universal, airtight political message, whereas the anti-homophobia message supposedly promoted by a Brokeback win would be attacked as pushing a trendy liberal "agenda." Crash wins!

Some people might also say that Crash is simply the better film, but I disagree. Brokeback isn't flawless. I, like many, was bored when it started to drag in the middle. But it was also more than just a Very Important Message; it was a love story, and a beautifully told one at that. Meanwhile, Crash was nothing but a two-hour Message. By the end, it was overwrought and manipulative, as if the writer was in love with his clever (i.e. gimmicky) script.


Best Original Song: "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from Hustle & Flow - While I was rooting for Dolly Parton's "Travelin' Thru" from Transamerica (how happy did she seem when performing on stage? I would love to get drunk on Mint Juleps with her, she seems like so much fun), I can understand why "Pimp" won. You could cynically argue that it again lets the Academy promote themselves as hip and socially aware (see above; although Eminem's "Lose Yourself" from 8 Mile was actually the first rap song to win an Oscar, he didn't perform on the awards show). But while "Travelin' Thru" only plays during the end credits, "Pimp" is instrumental to Hustle's plot. Not only do you see the main character (played by Best Actor nominee Terrence Horward) create and record the song, you see how much it means to him, how his whole self-instigated redemption revolves around the success of this song. I'm not sure Three 6 Mafia's performance on the Academy Awards would convince people this is the best song in a movie this year, but it probably is the song that meant the most to the movie it came from.

Also, Jon Stewart was great. Crisp and succint, he often offered the best one- or two-line reaction and then moved on. He had some good zingers ("For the record: Martin Scorcese, zero Oscars. Three 6 Mafia, one Oscar.") and fresh ideas, especially those ads done in the style of political lobbying ("Kiera Knightley - Acting While Beautiful"). He set the tone for a fun, laid-back ceremony that was echoed by the Animation winners (Wallace & Gromit: The Case of the Were Rabbit) adorning their Oscars with the same huge, floppy striped bow ties they were wearing, the Documentary winners (March of the Penguins) bringing huge fuzzy stuffed penguins on stage with them, and Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell presenting the award for Best Makeup with way too much on themselves.

Even with the endless pointless montages (film noir? Really?), they managed to keep the show under four hours. And although playing music as soon as the winners started their speeches was just plain wrong (the saxaphone during Ang Lee's speech was especially tacky), the Academy didn't embarrass themselves too badly. Oh, wait, I just rememberd the Crash-as-interpretive-dance sequence for its Best Song nominee. Nevermind.

Hooray for Jay

(Blogger Update: This piece was chosen as an Editor's Pick of the Week Feb. 22-28 at Blogcritics. I'm honored!)


How come someone as funny, unpredictable and uninhibited as Jay McCarroll only gets a one-hour special while the zombie humanoid clones of The Bachelor get hours and hours of airtime? Why does the incoherent train wreck that is Flavor Flav get an entire season of Flavor of Love while the wisecracking, creative McCarroll barely gets one episode?

McCarroll, the winner of the first season of Project Runway, is the subject of Bravo's Project Jay. The cameras follow this country boy from a small, rural town in Pennsylvania as he deals with fame, moving to New York City, and putting together his first professional collection.

Unfortunately, as he puts it, he's broke. It doesn't help that he turned down Runway's $100,000 prize money in hopes of signing an exclusive licensing deal with an undetermined company.

But who needs money when you're so full of witty one-liners? On watching himself on TV: "I have the world's smallest mouth. No wonder why I can't get laid, because they're like 'that mouth is so small.'"

On his financial woes: "I just pray that I get money from somewhere even if I have to, like, sell my sperm...or hook."

On his self-image: "If I was born hot: a) I would've been dead of AIDS by now. And b) I would've just been so dumb, like those dumb hot people I'm so jealous of. Why am I so jealous of them?"

It's too bad he doesn't get more airtime because he always seems to have a lot going on in his life. Much of the episode is Jay scrambling to finish an Emmy dress requested by Runway's host, Heidi Klum, only to have her reject it at the last minute. Plus, a nagging back problem results in full-out surgery. Thankfully, there's also time devoted to his creative process, where we learn how a friend's mix tape can influence a whole collection or how he can spend six straight hours designing without even getting up to pee. As he puts it, "If you have passion, you should probably take advantage of it."

The show also slyly reveals the incestuous nature of reality TV, as Jay gets his haircut from one of the stylists on Bravo's own Blow Out and runs into previous Runway contestants Austin Scarlett, Kara Saun and - gasp! - Wendy Pepper (season one's scheming villain).

I've been a fan of both seasons of Project Runway, and I've always admired Jay's work (including his Runway Fashion Week collection, examples of which are pictured here). It's colorful, funky and sometimes even glamorous, all from a rebellious outsider's point of view. I understand how he's a controversial figure, as he tends to bitch about things that don't go his way. But most of the time, he's a funny, talented, even charming guy.

Plus, how can you not root for someone who can be self-depracating, sarcastic, and arrogant all in one delicious sound bite such as "physically, I hate myself. Mentally, I'm gorgeous"?

Multimedia Love

I'm usually ambivalent about Valentine's Day. For people who are in relationships, it's either a good excuse to get out of their ruts and be romantic with each other (although it's kind of sad if they need an excuse in the first place) or it just puts undue pressure - usually on the guy if it's a hetero couple - to live up to unrealistic standards of what "love" or "Valentine's Day" is supposed to be like. For singles, it's either depressing to be alone, exhilerating to know you're not stuck in some unsatisfying relationship like so many others, or entertaining to laugh at those who are spending a ton of money on their loved ones just because they're told to.

But, this year, for the first time in a long time, I will be celebrating Valentine's Day. Nothing over-the-top, but something I'm definitely looking forward to.

I thought I would share two things. The first is Shakespeare's Sonnet 29. I know, a love poem from Shakespeare is not very original. But I'm new to poetry and I thought this refreshing, uninhibited belief in the redemptive power of love, though melodramatic for some tastes, would be appropriate.

When, in disgrace with Fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends possessed,
Desiring this man's art and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least,
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee, and then my state,
Like to the lark at break of day arising,
From sullen earth, sings hymns at heaven's gate,
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth brings,
That then I scorn to change my state with kings.

All right, that's enough of that schmaltziness, right? The second gift is a commerical from Saturday Night Live courtesy of YouTube.com. If you're more in the "Valentine's Day is just a corporate-induced, captialist excuse to waste money on crap you don't need for someone you probably won't be with a year from now" camp, then this satire is for you. And anyone else who likes, you know, funny commericals. Enjoy!

Food, Folks and Fun

The lovely editors at Blogcritics have chosen my piece, "Oprah Rips Frey a New One," as an Editor's Pick of the Week. Thanks, guys!

Even though this whole Frey case has been covered to death, there was always one bit of information that I could never work into either of my pieces, nor did I see it included anywhere else. I know it's not exactly relevant to the issues his case raises, but it still bothers me. When A Million Little Pieces first came out in 2003, he did an interview at Salon.com. This is what he had to say about some of his well-known fellow authors:

I don't give a fuck what Jonathan Safran whatever-his-name does or what David Foster Wallace does. I don't give a fuck what any of those people do. I don't hang out with them, I'm not friends with them, I'm not part of the literati." Don't even get him started on Dave Eggers. "A book that I thought was mediocre was being hailed as the best book written by the best writer of my generation. Fuck that. And fuck him and fuck anybody who says that. I don't give a fuck what they think about me. I'm going to try to write the best book of my generation and I'm going to try to be the best writer.

What a classy guy. That would be Jonanthan Safran Foer, author of best-sellers Everything Is Illuminated and Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close, David Foster Wallace, author of Infinite Jest, Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, and Consider the Lobster, and Dave Eggars, author of the hugely popular A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. Even though Frey tries to make it sound like he's rejecting them as part of the snobby "literati," it sounds more like the bitter rantings of an insecure writer jealous of the attention his talented peers received. And I wonder, does he think AMLP is the best book of his generation?

I just had to share that, even though it doesn't reveal anything new about Frey since we all now he likes to see himself as some kind of tough gangsta, but seriously, who talks like that in an interview?

Now that I got that out of my system, I can move on. You can also read my two other Blogcritics Picks of the Week, the first on my favorite Food Network show, Everyday Italian, and the second on the ridiculous Barbara Walters special, The Ten Most Fascinating People of 2005.

At the end of the Everyday Italian piece, I asked (ok, begged) for a copy of host Giada De Laurentiis's cookbook so I could actually try some of her recipes. I was curious to see if her food could stand alone and not just look pretty on TV. Since then, I have gotten the book (thanks, Eric!) and have tried some recipes.

First, I tried her Chocolate Amaretti Cake, a flourless chocolate cake batter made with crushed amaretti cookies (dry, airy Italian almond cookies) and orange zest. It came out moist and almost fudgy, with the cookies adding a perfectly mild crunch to the batter. Italians aren't known for desserts beyond cannoli and tiramisu, but I think this cake definitely has the potential to become just as popular. I will definitely make this one again.

Then, I made a simple pasta dish, Orecchiette with Sausage and Broccoli Rabe. I love pasta recipes that include veggies and protein all in one dish and this one is so easy to make. I substituted farfalle because I couldn't find orecchiette noodles and regular broccoli for the broccoli rabe. But the simple coating of olive oil, garlic and red pepper flakes was perfect, adding a little kick without overpowering the fresh broccoli or spicy sausage.

Finally, yesterday I made Panino di Proscuitto e Fontina. I love panini, and this grilled sandwich with fontina cheese, spinach, red onion and proscuitto was a perfect compliment to the butternut squash soup that it accompanied.

There's so many more recipes I'm planning on trying, but so far, so good. Although some dismiss Giada as just a pretty face (which covers about half the pages in her cookbook) she at least can back up her looks with simple, modern dishes adapted from classic Italian recipes.

I know this post is covering a lot (James Frey and panini?), but I'm in a kind of Friday, end-of-the-week-recap mood.