Obsessing Over Food I Never Eat, with Giada De Laurentiis

I have to admit to my new TV crush on Giada De Laurentiis. Her show on the Food Network, "Everyday Italian," has me strangely hypnotized.

While everyone seems to be talking about fellow Food TV hosts Emeril Lagasse and Paula Deen (who’s featured in the new Cameron Crowe movie, “Elizabethtown”), Giada just entered the New York Times best-selling non-fiction list in the Top 10 with her first cookbook. That’s pretty big and pretty rare.

It’s not that the show does anything really spectacular, but there’s something about the soft lighting, the faux-rustic Italian pottery, close-ups of sleek stainless steel cookware, and the chill lounge music that kicks in whenever our host starts cranking out mini-polenta bites. Giada is always fitted into some tiny t-shirt that shows off her toned arms and ample…um…bosom. Wait, who says “bosom” anymore unless they were born in 1950? Boobs, ok? She shows off her boobs. A lot. But tastefully so.

What I’m trying to say is that the whole package exudes a certain sexiness, at least as sexy as cooking shows can be. While Rachel Ray, also a successful Food TV host, is cackling about how awesome her food smells, Giada is luring you in to the point where you can practically smell her chicken stew right through your TV screen. Sure, she’s a bit too perky sometimes (no one should smile that big when they add sea salt to a dish), but she’s having fun without being overly precious about it.

And the food is simple, too. It’s not Mario Batali using obscure, high-end ingredients like goose liver. And it’s not Ms. Ray running around like a spaz, throwing frozen tater tots into her oven so she can put together a “30-Minute Meal” (that being said, I actually am a fan of Rachel Ray, but watching her scramble to finish on time can be mentally exhausting). Giada makes simple, elegant stuff, ranging from Caprese Salad to Espresso Brownies that keep me coming back for more.

To top it off, she just designed a shoe for Stuart Weitzman that’s being auctioned for charity. She's giving to charity, people! Okay, so the entire line-up of Food TV hosts each designed one, but Giada's is the prettiest. But, once again, Ms. Deen’s is getting the highest bid. I know there are other Giada fans out there…hence the best-selling book…but where are they?

I guess it’s safe to assume that other Giada fans are not 25-year-old guys, however, and therefore wouldn’t traffic in the same places that I would, so maybe that’s why I don’t know them. Or maybe being a Giada fan isn’t an easily-identifiable personality trait, like being a Cubs fan or Lincoln Park Trixie.

But I know you’re out there, Giada fans. Please contact me. Let’s band together. Actually, let’s not. This blog entry is dorky enough without using it to start a Giada fan club.

Of course, if I actually had the chance to meet Giada, it would probably go something like this:

Me: Um, hi, Giada.
Her: That’s not how you say my name.
Me: Uh, sorry. How do you say your name?
Her: It’s Giada. You know. Giada. Giada.
Me: Right. That’s what I said. Giada.
Her: Nevermind.
(Pause)
Me: I love you.
Her: Ow, let go of my arm.

Or something like that. ANYWAY…

Now that I’ve made my crush known, could someone please go to my Amazon Wish List and buy me her book? Then I’ll actually try making the recipes.