Note to Academy - We Get It: You're Not Racist

What does it say that the Oscars ended a little over an hour ago and I'm already over them? And I actually liked a lot of the movies that were nominated this year. A few things we can learn from tonight's ceremony:

In: Anti-Racism, Rap, Reese Witherspoon
Five-Minutes Ago: Anti-Homophobia, Country, Joaquin Phoenix
Out: Everything that didn't win. Sorry, suckas.

As for the two surprises of the evening:

Best Picture: Crash - A Very Important Movie, with a Very Important Message. The Academy loves to promote itself (how many times can they encourage people not to bother with DVD's? Message: TV is too small and pedestrian for the Big Ideas we promote with movies). Awarding either Brokeback Mountain or Crash would assure the Academy that they're socially relevant, but the anti-racism message in Crash is a universal, airtight political message, whereas the anti-homophobia message supposedly promoted by a Brokeback win would be attacked as pushing a trendy liberal "agenda." Crash wins!

Some people might also say that Crash is simply the better film, but I disagree. Brokeback isn't flawless. I, like many, was bored when it started to drag in the middle. But it was also more than just a Very Important Message; it was a love story, and a beautifully told one at that. Meanwhile, Crash was nothing but a two-hour Message. By the end, it was overwrought and manipulative, as if the writer was in love with his clever (i.e. gimmicky) script.


Best Original Song: "It's Hard Out Here for a Pimp" from Hustle & Flow - While I was rooting for Dolly Parton's "Travelin' Thru" from Transamerica (how happy did she seem when performing on stage? I would love to get drunk on Mint Juleps with her, she seems like so much fun), I can understand why "Pimp" won. You could cynically argue that it again lets the Academy promote themselves as hip and socially aware (see above; although Eminem's "Lose Yourself" from 8 Mile was actually the first rap song to win an Oscar, he didn't perform on the awards show). But while "Travelin' Thru" only plays during the end credits, "Pimp" is instrumental to Hustle's plot. Not only do you see the main character (played by Best Actor nominee Terrence Horward) create and record the song, you see how much it means to him, how his whole self-instigated redemption revolves around the success of this song. I'm not sure Three 6 Mafia's performance on the Academy Awards would convince people this is the best song in a movie this year, but it probably is the song that meant the most to the movie it came from.

Also, Jon Stewart was great. Crisp and succint, he often offered the best one- or two-line reaction and then moved on. He had some good zingers ("For the record: Martin Scorcese, zero Oscars. Three 6 Mafia, one Oscar.") and fresh ideas, especially those ads done in the style of political lobbying ("Kiera Knightley - Acting While Beautiful"). He set the tone for a fun, laid-back ceremony that was echoed by the Animation winners (Wallace & Gromit: The Case of the Were Rabbit) adorning their Oscars with the same huge, floppy striped bow ties they were wearing, the Documentary winners (March of the Penguins) bringing huge fuzzy stuffed penguins on stage with them, and Will Ferrell and Steve Carrell presenting the award for Best Makeup with way too much on themselves.

Even with the endless pointless montages (film noir? Really?), they managed to keep the show under four hours. And although playing music as soon as the winners started their speeches was just plain wrong (the saxaphone during Ang Lee's speech was especially tacky), the Academy didn't embarrass themselves too badly. Oh, wait, I just rememberd the Crash-as-interpretive-dance sequence for its Best Song nominee. Nevermind.