Spoilers!

See? Right there. In the title. Don’t read this if you don’t want to hear specific plot points about The Host. I must admit that most reviewers for this movie have been pretty good about warning their readers, but in general I feel like print publications have gotten exceedingly worse at giving away major plot points about a movie without any warning, much like the majority of movie trailers (coincidence?). I'm not even giving away anything surprising, so this review won't ruin anything for you. I'm just warning you: plot points. That's all I'm saying.

Anyway, you may or may not have heard about the South Korean monster movie The Host, as it’s receiving a lot of buzz but is still in only 71 American theaters as of this weekend. Already the most popular film in its native country, The Host is receiving all sorts of raves from American critics and audiences. A film this daring, enjoyable and outside-the-box deserves a large audience, but almost unanimous praise always raises the chance that people will be disappointed due to high expectations.

Just go and see it even if you don’t like monster movies, as it really will engage you on multiple levels.

The movie begins in a Korean science lab, where an American scientist orders his Korean underling to pour gallons upon gallons of formaldehyde down the drain since the bottles are dusty. (Oh, what I wouldn’t give to see Phil Hartman play this guy as an evil scientist version of his anal-retentive [chef/fisherman/fill-in-occupation character]: “First, we wrap the beakers full of poison in plastic wrap. Then we stuff each one into its own paper bag with packing peanuts. Now where did I put my duct tape?”) Interestingly, the director, Bong Joon-ho, admits that this scene was inspired by real events.

Leaking into the Han River, the toxins mutate a fish. It first develops three tails (all the better to slap three-eyed Blinky if he gets too fresh), then grows into a bus-sized monster with multiple mouths and an appetite for human flesh.

Cut to the Park family: Hee-Bong (Hie-bong Byeon) runs a food stand by the river; his fiery son, Nam-Il (Hae-il Park), is an aimless college graduate; his quiet daughter, Nam-Joo (Du-na Bae), is a professional archer; and his other son, Gang-Du (Kang-ho Song), is a sleepy, slothy father to an adorable, sharp little girl, Hyun-Seo (Ah-sung Ko).

Once the monster starts terrorizing people, the Park family becomes the center of the film’s attention, moreso than even the monster itself. Hyun-Seo is kidnapped by the creature (who likes to save bodies to snack on later), and the Korean government, claiming that any touch by the monster spreads a deadly virus, pursues Gang-Du after learning that he was sprayed with the monster’s blood.

Even though it’s a cliché, the film really is a rollercoaster. Believing Hyun-Seo is dead, the family’s public grieving goes from heart-touching to over-the-top, as they writhe around the floor, punch and kick each other and draw a circling crowd of paparazzi. Moving drama gives way to slapstick comedy...which can then overlap with suspenseful chase scenes that are cut with genuinely scary moments. If it sounds like the movie is all over the place, it is, but the results are fascinating even if sometimes uneven.

That’s not even the half of it. Just as many monster movies are viewed as metaphors for larger themes (Godzilla is a result of hydrogen bomb test and therefore represents the fear and fallout of using nuclear bombs), The Host has already been dissected and debated as a commentary of, among other things, the U.S. government, the South Korean government, the media and the Iraq War. Joon-ho admits that any social commentary had to take the back-burner to the family’s story, citing Signs as a major influence of how a scary movie can focus more on the family than the monster(s).

However, there’s a lot to look into here, with some references being obvious and some more subtle. For instance, the American government decides to step in after the Korean government mishandles their national crisis (a possible critique on both countries). The U.S. unleashes a chemical weapon named Agent Yellow, a barely-disguised derivation of Agent Orange, a similar chemical attack used in the Vietnam War.

Not much has been made about the title itself. A slightly deranged American official (is there any other kind?) confesses to a Korean doctor that, despite the U.S. and Korean government’s public statements to the contrary, there so far has been no proof of any virus, echoing certain claims made about WMD’s. So if Gang-Du is not an actual host to the virus, who is the host? Is Korea the host to the U.S.? Or is Korea hosting the monster? And is the “monster” really the U.S.? And can my brain please explode now?

Back to the film itself, one of the most refreshing aspects of the film is Joon-ho’s defiance of rules regarding the monster/horror/action movie genre. We see the entire monster early on and in complete daylight, instead of the climactic build-up leading to the shocking reveal in some shadowy haunted house or sewer system. Unlike everything from Godzilla to Starship Troopers, the monster isn’t huge and is therefore more limber, swinging under bridges like an amphibian Kerri Shrug. Our heroes, the Park family, are a rather bumbling group, antagonistic to each other and unlike the typical, invincible he-men heroes of other movies.

So: fine acting, seamless special effects (until a strange, eleventh hour dip into cheesy, low-budget effects that look sub-Photoshop), engaging use of multiple genres to tell a multi-tiered, metaphorical story, and actual, seat-jumping scares. Just so I don’t oversell the film, I will admit that it is a touch long and certain scenes drag. And, I guess if you're the type of person who doesn't like to "read movies," then the subtitles will bother you, but I didn't find them to be a problem.

OK, so I didn’t give away that many spoilers. I just wanted to make sure. I’m kind of anal-retentive that way. Now where’s my duct tape?

Also check out: Boo.
And: Sweet, Sour, Stupid.