Cradle to Tears

When reading Cradle to Cradle, William McDonough and Michael Braungart's manifesto for eco-effective living, I went through multiple phases of emotion. For a book that spends 156 pages describing everything that's wrong with environmentalism - including both companies that avoid it altogether and those that practice yet still do harm - and then only 29 pages explaining how to do things right, it was still surprising how discouraged, angry and despondent I felt - toward Earth-screwing corporations, toward deceitfully Earth-saving practices that end up actually as Earth-screwing, and towards the authors themselves.

Since nothing makes a depressive feel better than sharing their negative feelings, let's walk through those phases together, shall we?

1) Alarmed Paranoia. I, like most sane, aware people nowadays, am trying to incorporate more environmentally-friendly practices into my daily life. (Without, you know, rearranging my life too much, of course. Hey, it's amazing I actually get to work on time as it is - I can't unplug every single appliance, you know?) So the first section of Cradle surprised me with its cynical take on modern, "effective" environmentalism, even on the first page.

First, that comfortable chair you are sitting on. Did you know that the fabric contains mutagenic materials, heavy metals, dangerous chemicals, and dyes that are often labeled hazardous by regulators - except when they are presented and sold to a customer? As you shift in your seat, particles of the fabric abrade and are taken up by your nose, mouuth, and lungs, hazardous materials and all.

The authors then go on to deconstruct computers, carpets, shoes, electric hand mixers, water bottles, hair dryers and baby toys. Lesson: don't buy or touch anything even remotely synthetic.

2) Angry Discouragement. OK, but what if I buy all-natural products, like, say, my clothes? Granted, most organic clothes still haven't evolved beyond burlap sacks in both style and comfort. But hey, I watch Top Model and Project Runway and I will make it fierce and I will make it work! What do you say, authors?

If several billion people want natural-fiber blue jeans dyed with natural dyes, humanity will have to dedicate millions of acres to the cultivation of indigo and cotton plants just to satisfy the demand - acres that are needed to produce food.

Plus, apparently indigo contains mutagens! So the authors warn, "change your jeans, not your genes." Ha ha! Punny! But it's hard to laugh at puns through clenched jaws, especially when I'm breathing in all these toxins from my dangerous, mutagenic clothes. Damn you, Levis!

3) Wide-Eyed Horror. What about recycling? That's good, right? Um, no. "Just because a material is recycled does not automatically make it ecologically benign," the authors explain. Forcing materials into longer lifetimes and into uses they weren't meant for means spending more money and energy than if they were just discarded (which they will be at some point anyway). Plus, you have to add chemicals and all sorts of crap to the recycled material to make it usable again. So in chapter one, I was told my computer is dangerous, but I can't just turn to my handy, Leonardo DiCaprio-approved journal, either.

Because it was not designed with recycling in mind, paper requires extensive bleaching and other chemical processes to make it blank for use again. The result is a mixture of chemicals, pulp, and in some cases toxic inks that are not really appropriate for handling and use...allowing an even higher proportion of particles to abrade into the air, where they...can irritate the nasal passages and lungs.

Toxic inks? Are you kidding me? Why, Mother Nature, why? Why do you hate me? Here I thought writing was the lowest-maintenance hobby because it just required a pen and paper. A pen and paper that are killing me.

4) Quivering Mass of Tears/Curled into Fetal Position.

So then there's..

One study of household contaminants found that more than half of the households showed concentrations of seven toxic chemicals that are known to cause cancer in animals and are suspected to cause cancer in humans.

And...

Allergies, asthma, and "sick building syndrome" are on the rise.

Oh, dear God...and...

Some industrial chemicals produce a second effect, more insidious than causing stress: they weaken the immune system.

For the love of...and...

Legislation establishing mandatory standards for indoor air quality is practically nonexistent.

Sweet Jesus. But, somehow, I came upon a...

5) Sliver of Hopefulness. Upon reading the last chapter's title, "Putting Eco-Effectiveness into Practice," I thought I finally could discover what I can do to protect myself and those I love by making better choices. Except, of course, the authors are an architect and a chemist, so the solutions are really for those who design products and buildings. So then I, the consumer, am left helpless, knowing I can't make better choices until I have better options to choose from. And, as the authors made explicitly clear in the first 90% of the book, there aren't very many good options right now. So...

6) Back to Quivering Mass of Tears/Curled into Fetal Position.

So now I will curl up onto my toxic couch, wrap myself with a hormone-altering blanket, watch my TV that's killing both my brain cells and my sperm with radiation, and contently log out. Cradle to Cradle's one positive contribution is reaffirming my lazy procrastination, as now I know that I can't really make a difference until someone else does first.

Also check out: WWED?
And: A Whore Among Flowers.