This Post is AWESUM

I just took a lovely walk through the tree-lined, sun-dappled streets of my neighborhood. I picked up some báhn mí sandwiches, shrimp rolls and steamed pork buns (tee-hee) at a new French-Vietnamese bakery. Hoping to score some limoncello, I stopped in a local liquor store. You know the kind: dirty floors, dirty shelves, merchandise that's been there since 1982, and a very weathered, heavily eye-linered woman behind the counter gruffly asking, "How ya doin'?" as if her throat was lined with sandpaper.

Anyway, they were out of limoncello (that stuff is hard to find, yo) so I picked up some citron vodka. As I was paying for it, I turned around to see a sign behind me:

Absolutely NO wireless communications allowed in this store.

Xplanation - They are VEXING and INSOLENT.

What I love about this is that it's so direct and yet it leaves so many questions. "Xplanation"? Doesn't spelling it like that deserve an xplanation of its own? Was that intentional? And is writing out an "E" such a time-sucking burden? For people who are so against "wireless communications," I would they think they'd find spelling a word like that cutesy and annoying. While this is not the first store to have rules against cell phones, it is the first I've seen to use such sophisticated and accurate adjectives.

Maybe it's not just the merchandise that's stuck in 1982 there. The ironic part is, if there wasn't such vexing wireless communications in the first place, they wouldn't have to put up such a great sign. I think that sign itself might justify all the unnecessary, attention-sapping and, yes, insolent technologies that the store owners are so against. But I wouldn't xplain that to them.